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Worst April Fools Joke before/after
Today was not supposed to arrive like this. No,no, not one bit whatsoever like this.
Let me tell you about the confluence of warped, twisted, sinister karma that led me to the worst April Fool's joke.
Or maybe the best, its all a matter of perspective. But Whomever is there meausring and clipping the fine lines of fate, surely is laughing Their asses off at me right now, even as we speak.
I left you yesterday, as I was going out to "have some fun", and wondering about who the hell called me on a Sunday morning. Let me begin from their.
I was riding back from Arvada (suburb of Denver, CO,USA, North America, Western Hemishphere, Earth, Sol Solar Sysytem, Milky Way) after having spent a fine day kicking the hacky sack around with my friend Thomas. Feeling good, I popped in a CD and sat at the stoplight, waiting for it to change. Someone whistled, and ran up to my car, sticking their head through the moon-roof. It was my brother, out of all randomness.
my brother:"Hey, you wanna do some liquid acid?"
Any rational person at this point would have begged off, realizing it was Sunday, work is on Monday, and it was April Fools Day. Not this guy.
me:"Sure"
So I pulled into a parking lot, and guzzle this blue kool-aid type, little plastic barrel drink. And that sowed up my fate. Woody is there being freaky. Evidently he got a ticket from the Man which may impact his job prospects, so he, my brother, and my brother's fiance' went to a bar I sometimes go to and asked around for me, describing me in detail, before Woody, after creeping everyone out, uluates a wolf cry at the doorway before exiting, trying to find me and give me said LSD. And I conveiniently pull up on the street right by them. If I had taken another way home. Or stopped to eat...well, no sense in crying about it now.
I make it home in time to catch the Sopranos. Woody has conflict with my roomates, and they (my bro, his fiance, and Woody) take off.
And I start tripping my fucking balls off. Visuals left and right. Hightened senses. Rushing, gushing thoughts, and I only have one ciggarette left.
No problem, walk to the store, get some smokes. Then the phone rings. Its my parents.
Ohhh, this I do not need.
I find out that it was my best friend who called this morning, and I had to explain through clenched teeth and flightful mind why exactly I hung up on him.
dad:"So we gave him your phone number, because he said he didn't have it."
me:"Oh, so that's who I hung up on at 1030 this morning..."
dad:"I don't know. Could've been about 10:30 that he called. Why did you hang up?"
me:"Well, I didn't get any sleep last night, feel asleep at about 6:30 (a.m.), and on Sunday, who calls on a Sunday morning? I never get any calls on a Sunday morning. And I had insomnia last night, so after laying in bed all night, only to fall asleep at 630, I just didn't want to talk...(pause)...its the time change, it screws up everything for me, I'll be edgy for the next couple of days..."
I throw some clothes into the clothes dryer, and go to buy some essentials for tomorrow, as well as a pack of smokes. After dealing with my neighbor, with whom I've never spoken, I go to the local 7-11, to find it populated by two cop cars and an ambulance, lights ablazing.
Moving on to another 7-11, I was eyed by some local toughs who correctly decided that I wasn't worth the hassel, and made my way over to my brothers, who was also high as hell. And I keep getting higher all the time.
We go for a nice walk in the park, talk about the day, and the weird conflux of karma that led us to this point, and that this was at least triple dropped LSD drinks.
Ouch, my fucking head.
Happy Goddam April Fools. Reeeeaaaaal fuckin' funny.
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