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Confessions Of A Scapegoat Pt: 3 before/after
Confessions of a Scapegoat
part 3: Sunday Drivers
I awoke with the enthusiasm I usually reserve for major surgery, or a good barium enema.
Today was the day that my Brother was pushing the 'rents to go to Vail.
I fucking hate Vail.
I've always been against pretentiousness, and pretention without any sort of substance I loathe.
Vail is vapid, and a high rent designation given to a decidedly low rent area. Everything's shitty. There is no quality to be had in Vail.
So I got up and watched part of the Godfather II on AMC. And was promptly late for brunch.
Conversation slowly got started as we ate well. Janandean's or something. I don't fuckin' remember. The 'rents have been buying all week, and I don't remember, other than a lot of the places we've been eating have cost waaaay too much for the service or quality of food.
Finish the brunch, and the subject of plans for the day came up.
They wanted to go to Panorama Point.
My jaw just about dropped last night I had talked to my Brother about not wanting to go to Vail, and tried to make an argument for another place.
He got all pissy, and tried the dodge of... "Fine. Whatever. If you've got another idea, we'll do that, until then, don't worry about it."
Why yes I have another idea, you underestimating fuck. Go fuck yourself, I scored higher on the IQ tests we took, and on the ACT's. Its been scientifically proven I have more ideas than you.
But of course, I didn't say that. I suggested Panorama Point.
Fed the trout at the welcome center at Golden Gate Canyon park.
So we went to Panorama Point and its luscious view at 9300 feet of the Continental Divide.
Talked to some of the ridiculously overqualified volunteer staff. Men who had highly successful careers, pretty much retired, and then wanted something for, as one guy said, "grocery money."
Retired airline piolets. Atmoshpherical physicists.
Mom talked to the physicist about his grant funded research that he travels the globe and takes measurments for his studies.
As my Dad said later, "What the hell is a hydro-oxylate?" (its a negative OH ion)
We saw pointed Long's Peak, at 14000 ft. monstrosity. Dad wanted to go there.
So we drove out and meandered through the mountains.
Dad grew tired, and I ended up driving the PT Cruiser they had rented.
Nice car. Except it had a four cylinder engine I despised.
A horrendous thunderstorm sprung out of nowhere, shrouding Long's Peak in a crown of mist and thunder.
Peals of lighning split the sky. Hail rattled the car. People pulled over to wait the storm out.
I passed a sign that said Long's Peak, so we went for it.
It didn't go even close to the peak.
We pulled into the parking lot at the trail head, and the storm began to abate. The sun broke through and filled the valley with a strikingly vibrant full hued full double rainbow.
My brother and his fiance stood next to the sign that said 'comfort station'.
me(out of earshot of the 'rents):"Comfort station? What's that? A bunch of glory holes?"
I told mom to grab her camera and I took a picture of everyone with the bow of the rainbow in the background.
And away we went.
We drove up to Estes Park.
brother:"This seems like the suday family drives we took so long ago, except its in the mountains."
Indeed. Not a bad idea, no?
Of course, I didn't say anything.
Estes Park is breathtaking. Its a gorgeous valley, with nice meadows,, ringed by mountains and out croppings of rock in the middle of verdant green plain. You can see end to end at the right elevation, but just barely.
Were I to retire, this may be the place, provided it doesn't get overdeveloped.
We looked around the Stanley hotel, an old and mammoth hotel. Dylan lived there while he toured. Many celebrities have stayed there for extended times.
Rumour had it they used it in "The Shining". It did have a sort of "Shining" feel to it.
Upon furthur inspection, it was found out that this was the inspiration for Stephen King to write "The Shining" but never actually appeared in the movie.
It was used, however, for the puss Stephen Weber version on ABC, though. I hate that version.
Out back there were some Elk. Everyone told me to go out there and get my picture taken. So I did. Got within three feet of those docile mofo's. Damned elk, got nothin' on me. Beeeeyotches. Other tourists took my photo as well. I managed to draw a crowd, which were, no doubt, waiting for a "When Animals Attack" type of scene.
Went back into town, and found a cajun joint for dinner.
Expensive as hell, but we sat by the river, so it was nice. Nice babling water sound.
A waitress was a rookie. She admitted it, and Dad immediately took to giving her a good natured hard time.
He was in rare form. I flirted a little bit with her and he picked up on it. She touched me a couple of times, and ended up resting her gorgerous breast on my shoulder. Heaven.
She walked away, and he started in.
Dad:"You know, Jay, try as much as you like, and she won't go out with you."
me:"Whatever."
[enter waitress]
Dad:"Young lady, tell Jason that he can try as hard as he likes, but you won't go out with him."
waitress(thoroughly confused):"What?"
Dad:"Just say it. 'You won't go out with him.'"
waitress(to me, playing along, with an interesting look in her eye):"I won't go out with you."
Dad:"Thank you."
[exit waitress]
Dad:"See? Told you."
me:"You're squirrely as hell tonight."
Dad:"What? Keep it up, and I'll tell her you want to apologize to her."
me:*sigh* :"Don't do that."
[enter waitress]
Dad:"Miss, Jason wants to apologize to you."
waitress:"Okay, but you better make it good. I want you on your knees."
me(pause, hand on the waitresses hip, hand on my Dad's shoulder)"I'm sorry my father is squirrely as all hell tonight."
waitress:(beaming and blushing)"Okaaaaay."
[exit waitress]
Dad:"She'd go out with you, Jay."
Still don't know what got into him. He was verbally snapping me in the balls all night long.
The drive home was quiet. There was some bad traffic on the way home, and my brother got bitchy as hell, and started snapping at me.
But other than that it was a good day.
At least I didn't have to go to Vail.
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