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Frustrated before/after Frustrated. I want to go and do. Be a part of things, even if it is in my detatched way. And I keep getting pressured about the future from friends and family. I really don't know how many different ways I can say, "Hey, I don't fuckin' know." (And a good friend contacted me today. And I have to tell him the whole story, which he has never known of my illness. I feel some anxiety about that. I just don't like talking about it, but I do not lie. So, no, I can't hang out with you, and here's why...)
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