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Stick Those Corn Pops Up Your Ass, Hitler! before/after There is this commercial for Kellog's Corn Puffs, or Pops. Corn Pops. As in, "gotta have my pops." But this is a new campaign. As closely as I can tell, it promotes conformity, much like Nazism. This one little man is happy, then he divides, and he is two little men, and it is great. He is thrilled. He starts to dance, and point at the other man. Perhaps he is gay. Because, as we all know, pointing on the dance floor is gay, especially when you point at other guys. Not that I mind what anyone does, as long as I am largely left to my own devices and not having to deal with someone else who can't handle their buzz or whatever gets them through the day. Do your thing, I'll do mine. I bet we never meet. And if our things intersect, we will talk. He then divides into another set of men, and there are four. They love each other, and their love is abundant, as well as abundantly clear. They dance and point at each other with twisted smiles and dance in mirrored step and cadence. Then there is eight. And Sixteen! And the screen is filled, and they march. They march at us all, in mass conformity. Big gay smiles of dancing and pointing conformist nazism. Apparently the revolution means we will dance well and have keen fashion sense. I have no beef with anyone besides the government and the church. And midget clowns who live in houses with white picket fences. And carnies. Woah, man, don't get me started on the carnies. Carny motherfuckers. They eat their corn pops with the one good tooth on their lower jowl, just to fit in. I will NEVER eat your Corn Pops! You HEAR me! We were talking about strokes and brain annuerisims a few days ago. My friend told me about a man in my community who had a stroke while bringing the groceries in with his daughter. He started to feel the massive trauma, I guess, and demanded to be taken immediately to the hospital. "What about the groceries?" the daughter apparently said. "Stick em' up your ass," the man replied, and then collapsed, lapsing into a coma. He died three weeks later, never coming out of that coma, his last words to his family being, 'stick em' up your ass.' Last words are so, so important.
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