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Extended Blue Monday before/after Went for a drive back to my house for lunch today. Its sunny and sixty two degrees today in Denver. Opened the moon roof on my black on black 96 chevy monte carlo and just cruised. Today is a good day for cruising. Popped in one of my CD's, 'Where Wuz You At?'(which is a take on the old Lead Belly Classic, Where Did You Sleep Last Night. Nirvana covered it on their Unplugged. Mine is acoustic blues with rap styling vocals.) Went a long way to diminish the dry pain of my extended 'blue monday' due to too much X on NYE. I need to stop playing with stuff that fucks with my serotonin levels. Pure X is difficult to find nowadays, anyway. I had a pseudo-breakdown last night. To watch me go through it, you wouldn't have known, other than my silence, scowl, and jutted out clenched jaw. As a result of the re-evaluation/retrospective that I put myself through, coupled with getting high and having an X bonus round(mescaline and said derivatives do that), I just sat and fruited out in my head while watching the Orange Bowl with the guys. They didn't notice either. I had forgotten the bonus round effect when I toked, so it snuck up on me, and I took it hard. Lots of questions and hypothesis for which I had no need. I'm settling back within myself. From sports I have learned that this is where your best game is played, when you 'play within yourself'. And life is surely a game. Its a zen sort of thing, minding your limitations, not attempting the ludicrous. Just want to shake the Blue Monday feeling. It feels like spring semester at college outside. There is few better seasons in the human experience. I love it. I love it so. There is nothing like shaking off the cold bear paws of winter, to emerge to the sun, the warmth. Hacky-sack, pot, beer and girls in tight and revealing clothes. Laughter comes easier, giggling out of mouths like the joyful chorus of angels. Friends say hi, hugs are exchanged and all greetings seem louder, more vibrant. The world turn green, buds sprout. Fresh breezes blow. People fall in love again. Stay out late. Wake up early, just to do it all again and again. The world seems to sigh, and take a breath. Nature, life's wheels start to creak and turn. Elegaic. Romantic. The blood starts to bubble, boil and burn. And what does a youing man think of, but, girls, girls, girls. Girls of all shapes, tastes and sizes. Its time. Its been too long. Cooped up inside, with my libido, shreiking like a harpy, nagging at me, Pangs blown away with the warm winds, while my thoughts like the butterfly blows, of her, and she and they. of love and fancy, gestures dying slow with the dawn of the latest generation, dreaming of the beaches to come, in the summer, shirtless and rampant in the sun, but, not yet. no. its spring time. we have plenty for all and fool around fall down swinging to and fro, laughter, comely games, flirtatious trends tend to bend the most staunchest of winter's loves lost loyalty. And friends! My god, the times we will have, now that the sun has come, the spring is here, upon us, like golden gilt fallen from the sky, balm of Gilead for my tortured soul. Balm? In Gilead? No. Know, Its here, its here, its here. Secret lovers, and impassioned embraces grow and flow. And the light is like a smile to my eyes, friendly and forbearing, lifting winters ought curse, bringing the delight singing from my soul always to be, always to be when warm winds blow, lifting the mist the shroud the pallor of glistening bittersweet solstice. Coldest months of the year. God's love fled from this portion of calendar, this forsaken season real estate, to the subtle jubilation the susseration of the fair the spring, the spring, the spring is in the air.
Well, maybe not yet. But that is what today caused me to think. That sucked. I can do better. But what the hey? Improv off the cuff is always fun. Thinking of all that cheered me up a little. Hopefully, I can just Roll With It.
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