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Eulogy For The GAP before/after I also missed out on the GAP. The entire GAP phenomena touched down on my culture, sprouted, grew, infested and passed, and I never bought one peice of GAP fuckin' clothing. I MAY have wandered into a gap. I MAY have flipped over a pair of pants. I believe I thought something like, "Oh, so you're the fuckers trying to make everyone look the same." And I walked out. Friends have worked there. The stock raged on the market. Not for me, not for me. People would make references to me saying things like, "Well, it beats folding T-shirts at the GAP", and I only had a vague notion of what was going on, nodding my head and pretending, but if you looked deep in my eyes you would see that I did not know, nor want to know the ways of the GAP. And ever since I laid eyes on this abominal phenomena, I have long desired to write an eulogy for the monstrosity known as the GAP. Fuckers are big on cloning, but don't want to make with the unfertilized eggs. And, yes, I realize this eulogy is premature, and many a man has gone down in flames for preaching his wheel before the turn had come to try, but goddammit, my mind is not changing on this. I missed the GAP. I will KEEP ON missing the GAP. Fuck the GAP. Good riddance to homogenization. Flair, goddamit. Flash! Function! Whatever suits you! Except looking like the REST OF THE GODDAM HERD YOU CROOKED PREYING UPON INSECURITY MOTHERFUCKERS. Yes, I'm shouting. But only because we keep getting fucked by Society, and no one goddam listens to me. Eulogy to the GAP: Fuck the GAP. Fuck 'em in the ear. Fuck 'em in the other ear. Fuck the goddam GAP. They had no soul, and all those fuckers have to hit the bricks. Fuck the fuckin' GAP, its not worth your tears. Fuck the motherfuckin' GAP, the GAP will not be missed. Cheers to your death you greedy souless corporate motherfuckers. Suck the fucking fun and life out of another planet and form of existance you parasitic plastic fuckers. Leeches! Leeches! [exit stage left]
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