The word innocent, just floated across my mind, like a sailboat with no port in mind, and no hurry to get there.

Lelani called one of my canned looks, "So...innocent.", when I open my eyes wide and bat my lashes. Of course she was crazy, as neurotic as an innercity sped ed class, or a metro hospital psycho ward. But then, she's not the only one who's said that...nor the only disturbed woman to cross my path. They seem to be drawn to me, as if I were an aircraft carrier and they were kamikaze pilots, desperately trying to crash into my stable hull, hoping to take us both down.

Perhaps that is a little harsh, but it is accurate.

I suppose a better way to look at is to say they are drawn in the same way some of the unstable people I've taken under my wing, to my seeming sense stability. A safe port from their self-made storms.

And really, not every girl that is attracted to me is off-balance, it just seems to be a certain percentage. My karma seems to be a band-aid on the gaping wound of humanity.

I bring this up, because Shelia has been "spying" on me through my roomie, too many pointed questions about what I think of her followed by the ubiquetous question, "So, have you called Shelia?"

And a LOT of hangups on the voicemail.

*sigh*

It wouldn't surprise me if she's been driving by and not stopping. I should've seen this coming, she with her personality, meticulously, calculated, almost suspiciously controlled demeanor, and odd recall of off-hand comments I have made. In retro-spect it occurs to me she was trying to keep a lid on SOMETHING, always.

Fuck.

I hope this doesn't turn into something wildly bad. I am in no mood.

On a sadder note, Brix, my 'dog on loan' has gone back to his rightful owner. I am not mournful, I simply notice that the house now seems Empty.

There is a party tonight, and I will be dodging the white powder(no...not the SNOW.), the evil stuff that it is. Wish me luck.

As an addendum, I do not mind off-balance women. Not at all. Sometimes they're fun, sometimes the fit is great. Some of my best relationships have been so characterized. Its just the point when the term psycho might be applied that it is a drag. We've all got problems.

I'm just saying...keep it to yourself.

...or on your side of the street.

...off of my phone.

Whatever.

Has anyone seen the Right Girl for me?

Anyone?

Anyone? Bueller?

Hell-ooo?

*sigh*