Friday Evening:

Bachelor/bachellorette party

Did not meet expectations. Like any guy, I hear the term "bachelor party" and I immediately think of : strippers, booze, drugs, more strippers, hookers, perversions and debauchery.

This was not what was expected.

Showed up with my best friend. Party was in the garage. Despite what I was led to believe, that the girls were inside and the guys out (and I offered, after prompting, to be a part of a 'stripper exchange' wherein a girl would strip for the guys, and I would strip for the girls...to no avail) , we all pretty much rooted in the garage.

It was a nice garage, but that means little when compared to dreams of bellyshots and lap dances. (Not that I necessarily get much from lap dances, either. But they are amusing.)

There were foo-foo pink balloons and an inflatable man that the groom drew a cock upon in the genital area. People kept showing aggression towards the penis as they walked by, due to the convenience of having it hadcuffed to the door frame.

But what made the party worthwhile was seeing the bride's sister, who thinks I am "hot", and is a stunning knockout of a girl. Brown hair, blue eyes, full lips, great bod. Oh.

We played eye contact games. Her wussy little boyfriend was there, also. Believe me when I tell you I could make the boy quake in fear if I desired. Okay, so maybe I do that a little on Saturday.

He sits at my table and rambles on about how he's gotten two DUI's. Although I was dimly aware of it at the time, 4 or 5 of my friends were not listening to him, but rather watching me (freaks) and my reaction to the story. Apparently they thought it was really funny, because I had my 'If that's what you want me to believe' look on my face.

They thought so much of it, they brought it up later.

Anyway...I go to the bathroom with another friend to to sample some of columbia's finest crystals...*ahem*...and we talk about her. I cannot help it. She's that hot to me. At this moment, despite my declaration of apathy, I am smitten, for what seems to be the first time in years.

Thinking nothing of the bathroom conversation, we went to a girls house and smoked some of her marijuana, and came back.

While we were gone, something of an argument ensued. Apparently this girl, Kim (the bride's sister, and with whom I am smitten), her boyfriend hung around the bathroom door while we were talking, and overheard us talking about her. Or more to the point...me talking about her.

So he immediately turns on her. And he bitches and moans. And they argue. And they come to a truce, while he watches her every move.

Eventually, while playing cards, we needed a fourth. So I direct the guys with non verbal cues to invite her to my table, and she's my partner. I immediatly start winning.

Her boyfriend sees this, and takes her home. On the way out, she scopes me up and down.

In the meantime, the bride is standing guard at the door, so her fiance' will not bolt. And the whole time, I'm egging him on, whispering in his ear:

me:"You know, I've got keys to a car with a full tank of gas. If you want to...if you feel the need, just grab them and go."

groom:"Where?"

me:"Wherever."

He didn't go.

I hung with the bride a little while. The anxiety was getting to her, too. Could tell by her mournful glances. I think she wanted to blow me, like a last fling sort of thing, but I love my friend too much for that non-sense. Her, also.

That night I was with so many old friends, and shared so much love and attention, I began to feel overwhelmed emotionally.