Well, the girl who cut my hair convinced me to try something else.

What the hell? I'm still getting a haircut. Doesn't matter. And hair grows back.

So she does an awesome job. Looks good. I felt like a serious heart-breaker.

And now I have no idea how to 'do' it.

I'm a 'brush it and let it air dry' type of guy. Willing to schmeer some stuff in it, but really would rather not.

Well, this looks like a mongoloid cut if I don't schmeer stuff into it. I specifically asked her. "Please all I want is to not look like a mongoloid. Do whatever, I don't care. Just don't let me walk out of here looking like a mongoloid."

She said, "Okay." She lied.

Supposedly, all I need is pomade. So I go to Rite-Aid. You could have a nervous breakdown in the hair product section in Rite-Aid.

And I thought pomade was just one jar of hair-stuff. Y'know..."Pomade". That's it. One jar. One type. One brand. "Pomade".

Oh hell no.

Jars upon jars of this shit hidden all over the place. All different styles, brands, textures, flavors, colors, waxes, gells, activator type-shit. Molding, styling, shaping, revitalizing, slicking, grease, glitter, brylecreem, styling cream, and whatever fucking else.

And to top it off, they all have three names in three languages. French, english, and maybe heiroglyphics...I can't be sure at this point. No one would help me. I was reduced to pacing in the hair products aisle, muttering to myself like a crazy person.

I understand why some guys just shave their heads bald. My hair has always looked good, long, short, whatever. Usually a little disheveled. Sometimes bed-head.

Oh fuck me.