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Freak of Fuckin' Nature Wanders the Boneyard before/after
Went to the graveyard yesterday, before I worked out.
Its good for me to have plans, and then kick over the traces.
Found a marker with my last name on it.
Had a very spiritual sense as I wandered among the tombstones. I think the dead people dig me.
At least I think in the duality of my beliefs that they do, however I have no proof spirits exist, and am comfortable with my feelings, even though they may be totally wrong. I guess, the way I look at it, it doesn't matter if I believe in it or not. It is or it isn't, and there is a stunning lack of verification. You would have to know me for quite a while on several levels IRL before I'd even start to explore my theories with you. Here, however, its all fair game and mind fodder.
Also found a grave of a seven year old girl under a tree. Seven years old. How sad.
Also found a great poem on a tombstone, which I will share with you shortly. Definite spiritual sense as I copied it down into a notebook. Carl, the dead guy, seemed to want me to absorb every last detail of his monument, his loved ones and his life.
This amuses me, because, regardless of whatever meta-physical implications there may or may not be regarding this, I now have that cat rattling around in my head. Bitching about the draftiness of the place, I assume.
It relaxed me to go to Fairmont. I was keyed up, for some reason. So I chilled for half an hour. Did the trick.
I have to come to some sort of terms with this. I think what bothers me the most is that, although relaxing and enjoyable to me on a certain strange yet comfortable level, it sorta' bothers me in that it reminds me that I am, all the way around, physically, mentally, and spiritually, a freak of fuckin' nature.
On another note, my brother has received a new position at another school. Good for him.
It also means that my duties will be perceived as increased, which I may parlay into a salary increase. Good for me.
I'm having a party at my house on Saturday Evening. Actually, the bender starts tonight, but the creshedo will be Saturday night stretching to dawn, if past experience is a guide.
You, of course, will join me.
If you desire to show up in a physical sense, contact me for details. All are welcome.
However, I must now say my email is Fucked with a capital 'F'. Second day in a row. Hoping it will be fixed soon.
But if you don't show, I will be sure that you know what happened.
You are my confidant. I can't help but to tell you all.
*sigh*
Its springtime, and I want to be in love.
I am thirsty, but all I find to drink are shallow pools of tainted water.
Damned by my freak of fuckin' nature status.
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