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The Call before/after
So I'm seriously considering becoming ordained.
I've had the jones to be ordained for years. I suppose the time will soon come.
I think I'll be ordained into the Universal Life Church. It has only one tenent. Don't hurt anyone. I think I can manage that.
Its a high honor, they say I can start my ministry right away. I will be able to perform ceremonies like baptisim, legal marraige, receive confessions, and so on.
Aaaaannd, I can legally call myself Reverend Jay. Or Reverend Argentum, for here, I guess.
Which is nice.
They offer a plethora of degrees, doctorates, certifications, and diplomas for a flat fee for each. I lusted with hubris after the Doctor of Sacred Theology degree. Imagine, the Reverend Doctor of Sacred Theology Argentum. Ooooooh.
They also offer Sainthood, which I quickly moved past, because, if I was foolish enough to throw away cash, this may be the thing. The Reverend Saint Argentum, Doctor of Sacred Theology. Double ooooooooh.
Its a old church, in good standing, based in Modesto, California, founded in the sanguine age of 1959.
And for a donation of a few measealy dollars, they'll set you right up with the pre-packaged kit to start your ministry.
Its either that, or I'll be ordained into some Hemp church. That sounds about right.
My old parochial school ethics have always harped at me about the blasphemy of it all, but truthfully, I think God understands me, and has a sense of humor.
At least, I hope so.
Maybe the true vision to be had is to Understand God. I think that's where true wisdom lies. See? Already proselytizing. Its meant to be. Soon, I shall require disciples, followers, recruits, fertility rituals, and a sergeant at arms (for disciplinary purposes.)
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