|
Suffer Religion To Come Unto Me... before/after I have crashed, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Broken, I try to pick up the peices. This will take awhile. Guess I have time. Death is seductive, though, isn't it? What is there to fear? We all die. I know fear, now. And I hate it. Fear is unimaginable pain, day after day, and not being able to die. Death is release. I don't think God, my God, wants anyone to live a life of pain, or a life they don't want to live. Ginsberg was exhuberant as his end approaches, and while mine portends to be a fuck of a long time away, I understand now. It will be a grand adventure. We don't understand life. What makes it so that we think we understand death? Utter foolishness. Manipulation by the mind fuck Christian set. "Here's all this good stuff, but you can't have it. Not now, and only if you persevere through a miserable lot. God cares how you die, and will deny you." More and more, I have the notion that my finest work as a...being? existance? expression of awareness? Piece of the Creator?...may come after I am dead. I spend a lot of time trying to understand, and achieve enlightenment of sorts in my own disorganized way, and this may prove to be a boon in another state of existance. Maybe there are ladders, or cycles. Or orbits. A dialectical approach, heaven and hell, makes little sense to me. It does not resonate with truth. It resonates of someone else's ideas put into my head to control me. I have a feeling that it is just as chaotic and disorganized there as it is here. More so, perhaps, as the dead struggle to understand in relation to the physical a state of being that has more relation to awareness, and what society believes is the impermanent. The only dialectic I could imagine, trying to see patterns now, would be that the afterlife is both simple, and impossibly complex. Simple if one tries to see, believe, and understand. Simple to the enlightened, unencumbered mind. Unbearably complex for the unenlightened. A lonley chaotic hell. Separation and devoid. Grading an existance on the uneven physical plane is SO unfair. Condemning someone to a proverbial hell of physical pain makes no sense. There are so many inconsistencies and inequalities. Religion makes a virtue out of suffering. I say it is a virtue to us all for suffering religion for so long.
|
