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the sexual me part nine before/after
the sexual me
pt 9
The Phone Call After Sex has always befuddled and bemused me.
Some girls want a call the same day, some the next, some not until later in the week.
The only thing I've really been able to divine is that they want to be called the same week, unless (and I only hear this by rumour or second hand) she doesn't want to talk to said guy whatsoever.
Personally, I have no experience with this. Call it arrogance on my part or an amazing lucky streak, every girl I have had sex with has wanted to hear from me.
The thing that is interesting, is figuring her state of mind, and judging when the right time is to call.
And the caveat, for me anyway, is making that relative to how I feel about a girl. I tend to always play things straight with no games. If I'm thinking of a girl a lot, I'll call, even if its probably a good idea to wait a few days.
Sometimes, if you call too soon, the perception is : needy.
I am definitely not that. I have in the past been far too distant and unavailable. Remote.
Sometimes, if you call too late, the perception is: not interested, or Only Out To Get Laid.
(Not that being Only Out To Get Laid is a bad thing, in and of itself. As long as both people are on the same page.)
But I am not needy, nor am I uninterested, nor am I Only Out To Get Laid with Lydia, so when do I call?
I had been planning on Tuesday, for no real reason whatsoever, other than I smoked pot Sunday and Monday nights, and this makes conversation concentrations difficult. I tend to forget what I want to say.
(I have had a total of four pulls off of a bowl, two each night, and it stoned me. I still don't like the feel. It doesn't feel like it used to feel, and I'm still not getting remotely the level of enjoyment. The upside is that two tokes get me high, the downside being that I'm not exactly enjoyning it. Or rather, I'm definitely not enjoying all of it. Ah well.)
Couple days cool down, couple days for her to think of what happened, her Sloppy Drunk Moment, and maybe think that I wasn't entirely happy.
And yeah, y'know, I wasn't entirely happy with it. These things happen, y'know? I understand that. NOT a big deal.
Just like...clean up your own puke or something. I don't know.
But as I got into bed, I found myself consumed with thoughts of Lydia. Just Lydia on the brain.
I knew she was likely anxious and embarassed. I knew she probably missed me.
I also thought that, given the possibility that she's only been with three other guys, she may start to sweat the call issue a lot more than she needed to think about it.
Plus, add to the fact that proximity is a factor in attraction and continuity of relationships...and I'm sweet on this girl.
So I called her.
Lydia:"Hello?"
Argentum:"Heee-eyyy."
l:"How are you?"
a:"Fine. I just got done cleaning up the last of your vomit, and it made me think of you. So I called you."
l:"I'm so embarassed."
a:"Don't be...don't worry about it."
l:"I just can't believe how I acted. I don't know why I drank so much."
a:"mm-hm."
l:"When I vomited, it came out clear, just like it went in..."
a:"Yeah, that's what you said."
l:"I just don't..."
a:"What?"
l:"I never get like that. Maybe once or twice in my life. I always saw my friends get like that, and I didn't want to be that annoying person."
a:"Mm-hm."
l:"I think I told you the one time I did, that I didn't remember who brought me home?"
a:"Uhhhh...."
l:"My parents were being really wicked with questions..."
a:"Oh, right, and you didn't know who brought you home, and you told them someone put something in your drink, and they talked to your friends, and found out..."
l:"Yeah. That was the only time."
a:"Ah."
l:"You ever get Sloppy Drunk like that?"
a:"Ummm....a couple of times, sure. Everyone does. Everybody has a Sloppy Drunk Moment."
l:"I just don't want to know...I just don't want to...rehash what happened."
a:"You don't want to rehash how you got really drunk and flowed throughout my house after everyone left?"
l:"no."
a:"Okay."
l:"At least your roomates weren't there...I didn't even know everyone had left, until we were sitting there and you told me."
a:"Really."
l:"That's how bad I was...and my ears were ringing the whole time...ugh."
a:"I Thought you didn't want to rehash it. Do you want to?"
l:"NO!"
a:"My ears were ringing all yesterday. Volume of the show, I guess. I think I was dehydrated yesterday, also, I had a headache. That's why I didn't call you. I didn't think you'd want to talk to me if I was all cranky."
l:"You call me? I though because of the way I acted, you wouldn't want to talk to me again. Really, after I left that morning, even your dog was running away from me. I was going to call you, but I thought that you didn't want me to call you. So I thought that if you still wanted to talk to me, you'd call me, and I didn't think you'd call me."
a:"What? Of course I was going to call you. "
l:"I don't know why I drank so much...I'm just so embarassed."
a:"Ummmm....[pause] you totally broke my train of thought...[pause] oh, right...Look, everyone has their Sloppy Drunk Moments, and yours wasn't that bad. I've seen a lot of different Sloppy Drunk moments. The Mean Drunk, the Bitter Drunk, the Angry Drunk, the Weepy Drunk...and yours wasn't that bad."
l:"I'm sorry."
a:"Don't worry about it. [pause] What was I going to say? [pause] I had something to say, and now I completly forgot. [Ed. Note: these pauses and bouts of forgetfulness are a direct result of me smoking pot that night, I'm not usually this much of a tool.] Oh... It was a moment for me. I mean, usually I just let a girl go puke and pass out, and keep partying with my friends, but I stuck around with you...and was nice to you. It was a moment for me in my life."
l:"You were sweet."
a:"I was just going to bed, and I wanted to call...and ...see how you were doing."
l:(with love in her voice)"I'm okay. I had lunch with one of my professors today."
a:"Really.Which one?"
l:"My stats prof. He gave me a D on my homework, and I was so mad, I went up to him and said, 'just because I have the wrong line in the box doesn't mean I didn't understand the whole concept."
a:"Uh-huh."
l:"So we went to lunch, and when we were done, he gave me an A."
a:"Really."
l:"Yeah. He said I should be a lawyer."
a:"He may be right."
l:"Maybe."
a:"Okay. I was just getting into bed."
l:"Well, I can let you go, then."
a:"Okay. I miss you."
l: (with love in her voice):"I miss you, too. Yesterday, I didn't think you were going to call me ever, and I was...quite upset about it."
a:"I wouldn't do that to an excellent girl like you. I'll call you later in the week."
l:"Do you want me to call you, since I've got free minutes..."
a:"Call me whenever you want."
l:"Okay."
a:"It was good talking to you."
l:"You too. Good night."
a:"'Bye"
l:(with love in her voice)"'Bye."
[click]
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