Potato Possibilities
2001-03-16 - 13:49:48

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I have a potato bush growing in my pantry drawer. Not just a potato, or a few eye stalks, but a bush.

All that it needs are leaves.

At some point, I find myself at the store wondering what other foods I can find to compost for it so it can lay its roots down.

I'd buy those big potatos, but I don't like the price breakdown. After all, you can buy five pounds of potatos for what seems to amount to pocket change.

But then you're left with five pounds of potatos.

So I'm hoping the 'compost for the bush' plan bails me out of the potato cycle, buying and then indirectly paying for their disposal, surely a waste management solution courtesy of the people from Idaho.

The whole potato problem is really starting to scare me. Suppose I buy twinkie to compost for it, and it mutates into an super-organisim that decides to run the place.

The last thing I need at 2:00 a.m. is a mutant potato-bush with an attitude.

It startles me right now, daily.

I open the drawer and say, "Holy shit, where the fuck did that come from?", and close it up, safely delaying any decision for another day.

It's only a matter of time before it claims the other drawers, and its plan of world-wide domination will have begun.