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Ocifer, I Swear She'll Be Eighteen In 56 months before/after Went and got a traffic ticket dismissed. I am good at getting out of tickets. Its a skill acquired through too much practice. I've been pulled over at least a dozen times in the past eight years. Probably a lot more. I put it out of mind, anymore. I've gotten three tickets. Of those three, two of those were reduced to five mph over the limit, and a seat belt violation. One was a motherfucker, though. 97 mph in a 55. My engine was purring. There was no one on the road. It shouldn't count. Besides, I was thinking of breaking 120 at the next straight-away. 97 is nothing. The cop was pissed about that one. His whole body was tense. No getting out of that one, although I gave it a good try. He literally vibrated with anger. A few tips: Be straightforward, sorta'. I've found playing dumb works well. Don't suck up or cowtow. Don't act weak. It arouses contempt. "Do you know what the speed limit is?" Estimate it at five over what you know it really is. If its thirty five, say forty, and so on. They forgive dumbness. If they know you know the law, and broke it anyway, you've got a ticket coming your way. Your only help at that point is to be genial, cooperative(but not brown nosing), and get the speed the infraction is written for reduced. That's pretty easy. Many, many cops will do that if you just don't give them a hard time. Ask for it. Why not? Works for me. "Couldja' give me a break?" If you look like a responsible citizen, then you are cool, a lot of times. They are very judgmental. If you look broke, unkempt, or fit a profile, you are fucked, for the most part. And when all else fails, bring it to a human level. I did that once, driving like a complete asshole, racing a friend back to campus out in the middle of nowhere when I was in college. He had me so dead to rights. A plethora of infractions, including egregious speeding. And my license was restricted, hanging by a thread. A bad, bad situation. Weed in the car. Acid, also. Dumb, dumb, dumb. But remember, this was cow country. Thought they'd have better things to do. I played it completly straight-forward. Except for why I was there in the first place. I told him I was coming from home, to college, as provided for in my restriction. But I was so fucked. Then, even a 5 mph ticket means my license was gone. Just fucking gone. If he wanted to be a prick, it was jailtime, let alone what I had in the car. He got all my papers, and was going back to the car, to run an ID check, which is mainly what they want to do, anyway. It proves they're doing something to the captain, and catches bench warrants and fugitives and the like. While I'm thinking of it, offering up your license for an ID check is okay, if you are clean. Some just take it at that, others get confused, and others try to work the intimidation mojo, but a lot of times that works well. As in: "Hello officer. Would you like to run an ID check?" or, even more successful: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" "I thought you wanted to run an ID check. Fine by me." Anyway, I thought the shit had hit the fan, and I had hit a new low note in my life: jailtime and the prison experience. Before he went back to the car, I stopped him. "Officer, my license is hanging by a thread. Do you think you could give me a break?" "I'll see what I can do." And I knew I was in. He came back, and told me he would document this as a warning, watch my speed, and told me to have a nice day. In short, realize who you're dealing with: not really too bright, rule crazy guys who like guns. They drink beer, and put on their pants the same way everyone else does. They don't want to deal with assholes, and in fact, the majority of their existance will be spent dealing with lowlifes and scum. If you show them you're a citizen they'll give you the benefit of the doubt most of the time. They won't put you in the "asshole/criminal" category, and may even look at you and relate. I'm sure they've been pulled over before. And, most importantly, just drive the fuckin' speed limit. Nothing is so important as to hurry. Its cool to drive slow. Enjoy your ride. I try to drive like a geezer anymore. Well, most of the time, anyway.
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