|
More Stoned Movie Reviews before/after
Editorial Note: Ever since witnessing the strange and wonderful mating behavior of mullets in a local supermarket, Jay has calmed his nerves by smoking grass and watching loads of television. Despite an expressed desire by the people around him to take some time off, he has fervently demanded to "get back on the horse". While this is not a smack analogy, it does mean its time for more "Stoned Movie Reviews", the definition of this being that pot smoking has taken place at some point in the veiwing of the movie or writing the review. Saintly Stories does not endorse drug use or criminal activity of any sort...hey, is it 4:20 yet?
Stoned Movie Reviews:
Scary Movie:
I do not know how I've missed this movie up to this point in my life. I highly recommend veiwing it with several friends and as much weed as you can smoke. Poor cast (overall), great script, awesome directing and solid cinematography, Scary Movie is a parody of not only the Nineties horror movie genre' but is allegorical at several points to 90's society as well. Moments such as the pedophile teacher, or the drug dealing (Ric Ducomen) dad are priceless. And the opening scene is...great. If I were 13, the opening scene with Carmen Electra would be a whack-fest. The humor runs the gamut from low-brow to high-brow and covers all the points in between. The script follows the irreverant Wayans bros. style, and while some of the humor seems almost formulaic and scripted to certain demographics, analogous to the TV show, overall it is hilarious. I have to believe that Jim Carrey as the role of Doofy would've made this movie even more priceless. Definitely worth seeing, I would call this a Must See.
The Bare Wench Project:
These days, I've made an effort to get back into cable porn, but, its really slow going. Why fuck around when hard core is easily available? But I made the effort, and was soundly disappointed. Bad acting, bad movie, horrible script based on, of course, the Blair Witch Project.
However, having said this, I recommend renting this movie, watching about five minutes of the movie itself, and then watching the credits at the end of the film. The credits made me laugh my fucking ass off. It was out-takes of on of a porn actresses flubbing a line from a scene, repeatedly. One of the easiest lines, "A piece of paper. I found it in the back-pack" and she is so painfully, brutally stupid, that she does not get it right. Even after being told the line thirty seconds earlier.
Now this is funny, in and of itself, but in addition to the mistakes, about every other take you will hear the director, and it gives one a nice insight into the world of porn. Its a husky, gravelly type of voice, with definite anger and spite behind it, and he treats this girl...well, just rent it. Especially if its in the cheap section.
porn star: "A piece of...." (blank stare)
director: "WHAT are you-"
TAKE 2
porn star:"The map-"
director:"Dammit-"
TAKE 3
porn star: "The map in the mapsack"
director: (audible sigh of disgust)
And so on...
|
