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More Midget Clown Visions before/after I have come to believe, that were I somehow to come in possession of ludicrous amounts of wealth, I would want to have a posse' of midget clowns on retainer. Just in case. They would all have pagers, and I could call on them as I see fit. "Yeah, I just got hit in a traffic accident, I need backup." And they would roll up in a 1978 volkswagon beetle, painted stark white, with pink polka-dots. They would pile out of that car in a never ending stream of midget clowns, and swarm my adversary in an angry mob of ankle-biting, greaspainted carnage. My revenge would be terrible. "Guys?� I'm in line at the movies, and someone just cut in front of me.� He's wearing a denim jacket and has a mullet.� Go!" I would be feared throughout all the land, and Congress would have to enact measures preventing vicious midget clown mob techniques without infringing on the right to assemble. Senators would do a tap-dance in the aisles, trying gingerly not to offend the freak vote, precariously positioned so, alarmed that my posse' of unruly dwarves might at any moment break into the chamber, causing a ruckus and scaring their wives. "Sure its legal, but I don't think the framers of the Constitution of the United States had this in mind when they guarunteed right to assebly!" a beleagured Trent Lott gasps at the cameras as a midget mob takes him down in a swarm of three foot humanity. Senator Strom Thurmond gets squirted in the face with a trick flower boutaneer, and sucuumbs on the spot to a heart attack. In a deft move of political grace, I give away millions in campaign contributions to the ruling party, and a midget gets appointed Cheif Justice of the Court. Eventually the case gets appealed to the Supreme Court for adjudication. None of the Justices wishes to offend the Cheif, who sits in a high chair on the bench, swallowed in his dark robes, and thus Midget Justice becomes the law of the land. Mobs rule the bush and the grocery market. And I sit back in leisurely peace, content in my place in history, eyes cast to skies, looking for a comet to take me away.
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