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Fuck License before/after There are so many people having sex, and so many doing it so badly. Bad fucks make ugly children. The government will intervene. They've already proscribed certain bedroom behaviors in many states. The President strides to the podium, erect penis in tow draped in purple muslin. Two ferrets trail the lawn of the Rose Garden in front of the anxious reporters. "Regulate and License them all, I say. No unlicensed fucking allowed!" Go to the club, and produce two forms of ID. "You got yer' fuck license, kid? Don't try to fool me with no fakes. Read the sign." The sign says: Only licensed fuckers allowed inside. A fuck license. Pass the test, and you are on your way to endless halls of puntang, cock and balls, stinky sphincters, flush lips, and whatever else gets you going. Fail the test...well, no fucky-fucky for you. Only hand jobs from toothless crackwhores in alleys that no one looks down, far from the prying eyes of the Man. "Oh, look, its Mrs. Jones. Well you heard about the Jones boy..." "No, dearest, tell, tell...." "Well, it seems that he didn't get his Fuck License. Tried to pass the test three times. Even threw semen at the Department of Fucking proctor, but to no avail." So no fucking for you boy. You are shit outta' luck. Go out to the open bars and try to score, and get shut down in the Ninth Inning, rounding to third, eyes on home plate when your girl asks for valid ID. "I'm sorry, you don't have a sodomy endorsement, I can't do that with you." Students frantically killing themselves in Japan for failing their fellatio mid-terms. Con-men with shrewd schemes, preying on our animal desires, and fucking people over in the grossest of terms. "Whaddya mean, I'm only licensed for gay sex?" Maturbatorial licenses provisional at age fourteen for boys. (thank god! I'd never have made it!) And for the uninhibited pro's, free fucking for all. A fucking free for all, absent all disease, hang-ups, pre-judice, and lack of performance skill.
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