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Well here I am, once again, at the pleading of my associate, to provide a few words of wisdom, as it were, to preface this new terrain of his literary endeavours. Don't you think that's nice of me, I thought so, I do, too.

Let me say first there is no new wisdom, there is just the uncovering of the old wisdom which has been confounded in ages past by village idiots and fools of all types and persuasions.

And this wretch is one of the confounding fools of all time. Long a fool of ill-regard when I found him, he now only confounds those within his municipality, thank heavens for that small favor that he does not trouble us all.

And now with the Christian themes. Were I several dozen years younger I'd have his throat, like we did in the old times when we strung up heretic, witches and strangers alike side-by-side every friday night in the town square.

It was the best of times, one that ensured everyone had a common activity on Friday evenings when the tawdry and shifty-eyed might otherwise prowl, instead their attentions commanded by the wailing funeral pyre of a woman falsely accused of witchcraft and other feats of sorcery.

Burned a few witches in my time. Easy way to get a date.

"Say there, young lady, what occupies you on this coming Friday evening?"

"Why, Samuel, Ah wish'd you'd accomp'any me to y'all's witch burning. Ah hear that you sirrah, will be the first to light the fih'yuh."

And so the date was sealed, and many a maid lost her resolve to me after the pagentry when all that was left was the stench of burning flesh and muffled cries of the falsely accused.

But I've no time...and I'm far too old to speak of such things. I am an old man and my time is precious.

So as a foreward to this putrid body of work, let me say in conclusion, do not let yourself be confounded by the words of fools, lest you find yourself burned at the stake.

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-Dr. Samuel R. Kelly, ethno-botanist

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