But with his dull eyes of filled with hubris and limbs tied to the military/oil/industrial complex, I think its safe to feel a certain sense of impending doom, when there is a hole in the sky in Antartica, and our leader thinks the solution to an energy crunch is to relax environmental restrictions.

But I digress...this weekend was one of marshalling Karma for a time being. Friday...sat by the fire and got drunk with my dog on loan. Drunk might be a harsh assesment, toasty may be more appropo description for sitting fireside with a beer and my six string. Avoided the nastiness of my roomates weekend ritual, if you follow my drift of no explanation.

Called Shelia at 11:56 p.m., thus making good on my statement to call her on friday. She called back, but I was otherwise occupied.

Shelia came over Saturday, after I sat indoors all day, basically Fucking Around in a homestead sort of way. I made her dinner, and we went to a stylish bar which has become a greaser hangout, called 'the Skylark', wherein everyone is too cool for the room, but that seems to be the mentality with those people.

Hungout with my roomies and associated friends. When I drifted to another part of the room, a pretty young girl with long staright brown hair and pale bedroom blues caught my eye, and we exchanged smiles. I lowered my gaze and attempted to walk by her and the geek with which she was talking. She intimately carressed my chest as I walked by, and I carressed the inner part of her elbow with my thumb as I passed, to which she grabbed my forearm and hand of my other arm, a subtle exchange that I don't even think the guy she was speaking with saw...I know shelia didn't see at all...until this girl, rebecca, approached me later with the dubious excuse of,"Hey, could you save me from this guy I was talking to...he just asked me to go to Vegas and get married, and I don't even KNOW him."

Her friends checked out my friends, and we hung for a bit...played out the string while Shelia played pool with a friend of mine.(she lost) I didn't ask for her number or push anything, 'cause I thought that might make Shelia feel bad. She was unworried, and seemed to be blindly smitten with me after I played guitar in our cavernous kitchen for awhile earlier in the night. Maybe before then...who knows the ways of women in this most distrubing of eventides, sure to shift and rock now that a sweeping change has been voted in control of the country, elected by a minority of voters, when rain and sex can kill you. Its difficult to say how this will affect anyone's mentality, even mine. But perhaps I over exemplify and simplify the times we live in today. Most people probably don't even notice. And I'm sure it had nothing to do with HER, its just something that ratttles around my mind demanding attention like a spoiled two year old with drawers full of dank nastiness...not MY child, so I Don't Know About It.

So I took her home and fucked her for awhile. Took a break and fucked her some more. She really needs to trim her kitty if she expects me to go down with any regularity, and I don't know how to broach this except in a stone obvious way...so I will wait and see how it goes. Soon come. Soon come.

Highlight of the night for me being two things. 1) She plays no games, which will endear her to me in SOME way, even though I know she is not the Right Girl for me. After all, I still percieve this as friends fooling around, but the look in her eye betrays her somewhat. And 2) After getting done with lickin' the kitty(in which I take personal pride), she paused breathless, gasping, and murmured,"You are SO good at that.", _{thus assuaging my erstwhile fragile male ego.} But it is true. I am good at it, and fiend for it like a junkie after his smack with this oral fixation of mine. So I've got that going for me...which is nice.

Went for my Sunday Drive up to Look Out Mountain, which gives me a scenic vista of all of Denver. Today, all I really could help but notice is the smog. I will have to drive futhur into the mountains, perhaps up to Lake Dillon and sit on the suicide memorial bench set upon its shores for girl who's name escapes me, and watch the sun sling low in the sky, disapperaring quickly, so I can avoid the burnt yellow nastiness of pollution which has befouled this gorgeous little corner of the world, and seems to occupy my mind so. So sad, the benefits of success, it seems. Denver in the year 2001 is a boom time, and there is sure to be shock when the check comes to the table, as it surely will.

And now the bowl of shroomers that I smoked is starting to tail off, and my thoughts progress at a more manageable pace...I grow comfortable with things, despite the inaugurational horror and poison skies, I go back to the fireplace to brood, and weep out my musical tears for my Never Love...lost to me, and never found still, my notes nestling into her bosom like rose petals dripping from her eyes, with a promise of things yet to come. Hopefully...

Some day.