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Horrible. Truly Horrible. before/after
So I'm walking out to lunch, and the custodian corners me.
Now as I've said many times before, I will talk to anyone. That's me.
This particular custodian has a particularly bad speech impediment.
He stutters like a motherfucker. Really fuckin' bad.
Can't get through a sentence without it sticking in his throat.
And up 'til now, I've managed to contain that sick part of myself that thinks this is one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
The part that wants to hoot with gales of laughter.
The part of me that seems to be permanently high,"Ohhh myyy gawwwd. This is soooo funny!"
And he's so intent on telling me his story.
All these ah, ah, ah, ah, ah....uh,uh,uh,uh's.
"So, my ah,ah,ah...wife....uh,uh,uh, went to the doctor...uh,uh,uh....ah,ah,ah...and.."
And I'm trying to listen. Focused. I like this guy. He's slow, but good people.
And he's telling me some story about how his wife may have benign pin-sized breast tumors that the doctors will operate on, and take a look at to determine the status.
And I'm biting my tongue the whole time. I had to look away. A smile kept laying claim to my face, as I furiously tried to not laugh at the man while he's spilling his traumatized guts.
A giggle crept into my throat and caught there, like swallowing a big piece of starchy bread with nothing to wash it down.
Everytime I turned to re-focus on him, and his strange looking face, look him in his turgid, bug-like eyes, the laughter kept coming at me in waves.
I had to turn and pretend that I got something in my eye.
And the stutter just got worse.
'
Eventually I cut the conversation short. It was either that, or laugh uprariously like an insensitive asshole while the man discusses his wife's breast tumor problems with me.
Horrible. Truly horrible.
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