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My First before/after Its really different going from a drug soaked world to a sober one. Its not necessarily better.� For me to say that would to presume on the quality and directions of other people's lives, and I can't do that.� Some people may live better lives on drugs. Having said that, living a life with markedly better mental skills, at least as far as memory and sociability are concerned is an appreciable difference.� The abscence of paranoia is key.� Or reduction, anyway.� Its tough to live in this day and age without some sort of paranoia in the background, or an occaisonal acuteness of such. More focus. Which, creatively, perhaps has been a problem at times, perhaps not.� My drug ravings always had a soft spot in my heart, always will.� Musically, focus has helped out tremendously. But with the writing, I try not to fuck with the flow as much as I can.� And sure, that lends itself to some pretty inane shit now and again, but even Moliere had to wipe his ass. So this leaves us, dear reader, you and me, at a cross roads.� I want to confess.� But it may come out stilted.� Its true, though. And the truth is what counts at times.� Beauty and truth, pale reflections of a loving God. It was a crisp Autumn evening.� My girlfriend, or then girlfriend was baby sitting.� She was a real saucy tart, blonde with big tits(36 d), green eyes, tight ass, and full pouty lips, the type a guy looks at and thinks dirty thoughts immediatly.� She was a headcase, as I was to learn later, and mean.� She took me for over $1500 dollars, and I gave it up gladly.�� I thought I was in love, but I wasn't.� Some lessons are learned hard, some come with a price.� And some have a pricetag attatched to it. I was a senior in highschool.� She was a freshman. I had just started getting into finger-banging at that point, and I thought it was great.� The wetness, the moaning.� Figuring out how to make a girl come is always a good time.� Like a puzzle, or picking the locks on a safe, communication on levels we don't talk about daily. So she invited me over.� What the fuck, why not.� Fingering her pussy beats sitting around watching tv.� I smoked a dubee and went over. I wore a white t-shirt under this aqua sweater that I liked, and was in style at the time, along with blue jeans.� We did our standard kissy-kiss stuff, and I groped and fingered her a little bit.� The girl was responsive, and man did she get wet. [It may be just the particular construction and make-up of her vagina, but later, when she took my virginity, she left the most amazing wet spots on the bed.� Unreal.� I brought a few of my friends over and showed them later.� Boasting.� I'm a guy, you know...] I had made her put Fantasia on, and it burbled in the background.� I have always like Fantasia.� I still do. She started teasing me by playing with my cock.� She wasn't too skilled.� She started to twist it. "Dunce!� Don't twist it!� Its not a bottle cap!� Its a dick, up and down!"� I said. She apologized and laughed.� Whatever.� Some girls like assholes, and at the time I was glad to oblige.� Its too tiring anymore. She was still trying, but not having much success.� In all fairness, only a handful of girls have ever been able to make me come that way.� She started to get frustrated. "I don't know how to do it."� she complained, then stopped. "You don't know how to do it."� I said. "I don't know how to do it."� she said, and turned away. "I'll SHOW you how to do it."� I said and her head snapped back at me. I grabbed her wrists and we wrestled a bit, playfully.� There was no malice.� I pushed her back on the floor, with my pants undone. "What are you going to do?" she asked, "MAKE me suck your cock?" "Yeah,"� I said sarcastically, "That's what I'm going to do.� Make you suck my cock." I don't know if she caught the sarcasm.� I released her wrists and put my hips over her head.� "Suck my cock."� I said. We both giggled a little, then I felt her hands in my pants. I hadn't expected this.� It had been a long, slow battle just getting into her pants.� I backed off.� I have never been, nor will I ever be, about hurting women.� Sure, sometimes its fun to fuck around, but the signals have to be clear.� You know. No means no.� Stop means I'm just saying stop.� Its important to know the difference. "I was just kidding."� I said, mentally cursing myself a little. "No,"� she said , "Come here." I obliged, and I felt her pull my cock out once again, and for the umpteenth time that night, I quickly got hard again. This time I felt her pull it out and put it in her mouth. Hosanna in the highest!� Peace on Earth, Goodwill To Men! This is good.� This is right.� This is why its good to be a man. My dick's in her mouth.� And it feels good.� Fuck yeah! Her neck got quickly sore.� So we moved to the couch. In the background, Fantasia burbled.� I alternated between watching Mickey chop up uncooperative broomsticks, and watching her give what I believe to be her virginal blowjob.� I love watching.� "You look so cute with my cock in your mouth,"� I said. She pulled off, laughed, and said, "Are you getting close?" "Yeah, sure."� I said. "I think you are.� I can taste it."� she said. She bent down to her task. She really didn't know what she was doing, just sucking it like, well, I don't know, really.� She just kept it as deep as she could manage and sucked.� No skill. I'm easy, though, and my thoughts can help me along.� If, as a guy, you've never come in your love's mouth, then one of the best things in life is just passing you by. Or really, if you just haven't come in anyone's mouth...anyway. She pulled off again. "I can feel it throbbing."� she said. "Its because I'm going to come."� I said patiently. "Just a second."� she said, "I wanna'...I wanna' catch it.� I wanna' try.� I think I can..." "Well, hurry up,"� I gasped, holding back as best I could. "Get close." "No!� In my mouth!"� she said. I held off as long as I could.� She took me as deeply as she had all night, and I unloaded a beauty.� Oh, the feel of the lips around my cock.� The tongue on the underside, rasping and sucking.� I knew I had found something that I would love the rest of my life. I finished ejaculating, and she held it in her mouth.� She gagged. She sat up and looked at me with a look of horror and disgust. "OH MY GOD!"� she said with a mouthful. I had to laugh like hell. [and for the record, my cum does not taste that bad.� One girl even told me that it tastes mainly like what I had to drink that night.� This thought used to bother me, but what the hell.] She ran to the sink in the kitchen and spit it out, then filled a glass with water, and began washing her mouth out. She came back and sat down. "Actually, it wasn't that bad...it just wasn't at all like what I was expecting." "Yeah?"� I said sleepily, "What did you expect?� A vanilla milk-shake?" "No, it was just all...warm and gooey."� she said, trying to explain. "Well..."� I said. "Well what?"� she said. "Its jizz."� I said, "Come.� That's what it is." And I left it at that. It wasn't the worst blowjob I have ever had, but it definitely was the first. �We snuggled down and watched the rest of the movie.
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