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Little Gay Hobbits before/after So, I just got done watching The Lord Of The Rings, Fellowship of the Ring on DVD on my laptop, and one question remains: in the Samwise Gamchee - Frodo Baggins relationship, who pitches and who catches? I remember reading the whole trilogy years ago. I burned through that like I do much of anything I read. And really, Tolkein isn't my favorite writer. In fact, I don't think he's a good writer. Very creative, yes. Much like George Lucas, he can envision an entire universe, but cannot handle the details sometimes. Some of his characters are very well defined, and loved. Others, many others are very plain and two dimensional. And to top it off, the writing is...in a word...clunky. I remember thinking at the time, and it was a precocious thought for someone so young, that he dreamed up several peices, and then sewed them together with shitty segues. Why do we have to go through the Mines Of Mooria? Because of the poorly explained lurking monster oustside the entrance. Otherwise, anyone in their right mind would have said 'fuck it' and found another way after seeing all the bodies piled up everywhere. And how big and populous is Middle Earth? We never know. Why are we in the spooky woods ruled by a witch elf? Because we got chased here by an army of orcs that appeared poorly explained, as if from nowhere. One thing I did like, and they captured quite well, was the redecorating job Saruman did once he switched sides. That shit always amused me. I have betrayed everything I know. I have orders from the dark lord. I must redecorate. Tear down those trees, you ugly green man. They're just so...tree-ee. Its too nice, and I'm not a good guy anymore. But you can't blame that on the movie. The question, however, still remains: who pitches and who catches? Samwise is a slow fellow, and is clearly the bitch in the relationship. Frodo likes him, but tends to order him around. He's at Frodo's bidding. That much is apparent. However, complicating the scenario is the fact that Sam is clearly the more butch of the two. Much more masculine. Frodo, by comparison, is demure, effeminate, with milky skin and pretty eyes. So, does Frodo 'bottom from the top'? "Come here, Samwise Gamchee, and let me gulp down that stout, hairy halfling cock." Whom is giving it to whom? I must know. "No teeth this time, Mr. Frodo"
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