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Dick Van D and Disappointment
2003-01-22 - 12:14 a.m.


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One of the things that has plagued me, perplexed me, for the majority of my life happened while watching the Dick Van Dyke show.

I was young and impressionable.

And in one less than memorable episode, well, they were all less than memorable, Rob Jr. helped his mom take groceries in from the car. 

This, I think, was a major plot point.  And highlights the fact that perhaps I was a strange child and did many inexplicable and pointlessly dull things, one of which was watching the Dick Van Dyke show.  I liked his wife, which I believe was a very young mary tyler moore, in a kids crush sort of way.  She made my pee pee get bigger and I liked it.

PBS.  Whatever.  I've noted before on occasion I watch the stuff, but only for the truly bizzarre amusement factor involved.   Yeah, Dick Van D. is so insanely boring that it qualifies.

Anyway, the kid has his hands full, crosses the threshold, and closes the door with his foot.

And the laff track sounded.

It confused the living hell out of me. 

It was clearly Not Funny, yet someone, somewhere, wanted me to think that it Was Funny.  Why?

There was absolutely nothing funny about it.  Nothing.   Anyone and everyone could see that.  So why make with the laff track?  Why try to pass it off ?  And (now) it occurs to me, why even set up to film such bullshit?  Why waste a six year old's time?

I interrogated others.  Went so far as to re-enact the thing helping my mom take in some groceries and shutting the door with my foot.  Got bitched at, no laughs.

I could not understand.  I still do not understand, other than its one of those simple things that trip me up from time to time, like driving the speed limit or phone sex, that are generally best ignored.

Our disappointment sits between us.  Me and the Penis Von Lesbian (old joke) show.


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