Animals and Me
2002-05-21 - 7:30 p.m.
before/after
strangely
non-functional guestbook
In another note, I hit a point of maturity, I think, today when I realized what I like about animals, and that I get more reward from what I like about them than killing them. Slowly crawling my way towards being civilized. The reward I get is seeing their dimly throbbing intelligence. I love to get inside their minds, and figure out what the world looks like to them. It looks similar, but much different. I sat on the toilet taking a shit the other day, and a mourning dove really wanted to be in the bathroom with me. I don't know why. I don't even like to be in there with me. He lurked by the window, making attempts to come in, but, of course, there is no ingress. True to my weird ways, I wondered if perhaps he was some sort of spirit familiar, some animal avatar, or maybe a spirit guide of a sort that the Indians took peyote and wandered out into the wilderness, starving for a week until the found them. "Can you take the pain away?" I prayed, "Can you heal me?" The bird fluttered close, and then back, trying to get a perspective on entering my house. "Heal me." I prayed again, "Heal me." I toyed with the notion of popping the screen off, and letting the little beast in with me. But then I thought, "What the fuck am I going to do with a mourning dove while I'm taking a shit?" It was just stress I didn't need on my hands at the time while I was otherwise occupied. And the mourning dove flew away.
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