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Mike Vick Is Really Dumb
2007-09-26 - 2:44 p.m.


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"I've known sheep that could outwit you.  I've worn dresses with higher I.Q.'s."  -Jaime Lee Curtis, 'A Fish Called Wanda'

Mike Vick may possibly be the stupidest person on the planet.

All things considered, he's only suspended.  He still gets his pay from his mammoth 10-year $130 million dollar contract.

If I was a betting man I would say that, at the least, that windfall is imperiled.  I would also bet that the team, supported by the NFL, would likely try to recoup his signing bonus.

And now, testing positive for marijuana.  Holy shit is that dumb.

"Yeah, I'm getting tested for drugs, I'm going to prison, my career hangs by the slimmest possible thread.  I might as well smoke this joint.  Oh, did I mention I was going to prison and getting tested for drugs?  Yeah, spark that shit up."

Seriously.  Give me $130 million dollars and watch me NOT fuck it up.

Well, if I had $130 million dollars, it could go several ways.

The one way that it could likely go is that I would build a massive gated estate with several buildings on it...a compound...by a body of water and hopefully some mountains, and never come out.  Everything will be trucked in and I will only leave to travel.

OR

I would keep a modest home, and rent out a villa in Napoli.  Maybe rent out an apartment in Venice and WRITE like a motherfucker.  Because, honestly, if you've ever been to Venice, its fucking IMPOSSIBLE not to be moved.  Not to feel the history, see the ghosts.  Its as thick as a cloud of butterflies.

OR

I would become politically involved on some level.

Possibly some mixture of all three.

But dog-fighting?  Smoking dope when I goddam KNOW I'm going to be drug tested?

Stupid.

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