Scrotal Swear
2007-07-26 - 1:07 p.m.

before/after
strangely non-functional guestbook

It was time for a serious talk.

I was laying next to Audrey on the couch when it happened.  She was sitting upright at the end.

Spreading my legs, I reached for her hand.  She seemed...strangely reluctant to give it to me.

"Audrey...Audrey, "  I said quietly, seriously, "Give me your hand."

She flinched away in fear and mistrust.

"I have something to tell you."  I said.

She hesitatingly gave me her hand.

I gently placed her hand on my sack, and looked her in the eye.

"I swear, on my scrotum, that I like bacon."  I said with a quiet and powerful sincerity.

"Its not that I doubted you liked bacon," she said, "I just don't think it would be good with a quesadilla."

Then she scoffed at the solemn ritual of a man swearing by his scrotum.