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Stale Fart
2007-04-23 - 11:50 p.m.
before/after
strangely
non-functional guestbook
stale fart
Its a cloudless warm day in the midwest.
Which means every asshole and their dog is out for a walk.
Tough to find a place to write. All of my places are inundated with humans.
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"Good God the sorrow! They
don't even listen to me when I try to tell them they will die!"
-Jack Kerouac, McDougal Street Blues.
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Its a dirty, dingy, unfriendly small town catholic hospital in the midwest.
I was standing around Audrey's father's hospital bed with the rest of
her family. He just had back surgery, fusing 3 vertebrae in his
back together with titanium rods. Its a very painful procedure.
Grandma and grandpa were there, Audrey, her father (of course) and her mother, all in various stages of worry.
Jerry was all doped up on morphine, unfortunately not enough morphine,
as he was still in pain. They are from the old school there, and
are afraid that one will become addicted to morphine in the span of two
days.
The new training, of which they hadn't heard at the hospital, is that
NO ONE should be in pain in a hospital, as it interfere's with the
recovery.
And Jerry...well, Jerry is from the old-school American male school of
thought. They martyr themselves for their family and suffer in
silence.
He was bitching about his catheter, and hoping aloud that he would be able to use it.
"Hopefully, later I'll be able to use my catheter...and just be able
to...let it flow." he slurred slightly with a smidge of a southern
accent.
"Oh, you don't have to worry about that, Jerry," I offered, trying to be helpful,"You won't even know...it'll just...happen."
"Oh...?" Jerry replied languidly.
"Yeah," I said. And there was a pause as I considered what
I was going to say next. Sometimes life affords you opportunites,
and you can shy away from them, or seize them by the balls, make them
your bitch, and force them to buy you cigarettes in the comissary.
I chose the latter.
"Just...be careful not to get any erections." I supplied without solicitation. I just couldn't help myself.
And a silence fell over the room.
No one stirred.
I didn't even dare to steal a glance at Audrey.
The pause hung in the air like a stale fart.
And the conversation resumed again, as though I hadn't even said a word.
Seize the day.
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