Dear Carolyn: I have been dating Phillip for eight months. I am 29, 5 feet 10, and the smallest person in my immediate family. He is 5 feet 6 and looks a lot younger than his age (30). Yet, he is my soul mate.
Even though I told my family Phillip was small and looked young, they were shocked when they saw him. They immediately started to tease and play jokes on him; he reacted very well and laughed. More than once he looked at me, but I said nothing. I have always been a little intimidated by my parents (long story).
After a full day, Phillip told them nicely that he was getting tired of being a target. My family stopped for about 20 minutes and then started again.
Also, he had been reluctant to meet my family because he felt he would be a burden; he is a strict vegetarian because of a digestive problem. I convinced him that my family would not mind. My brother and his wife brought a casserole over they said was vegetarian. Another joke on him! Twenty minutes later Phillip had stomach cramps, 10 minutes later we called the ambulance. The casserole had meat in it. Everyone just assumed his aversion to meat was ethical, and my family doesn't understand why anyone would have an ethical reason for not eating meat.
My family feels really terrible about what happened. They blame Phillip and me for not explaining his dietary restriction, but offered to pay the co-insurance for his medical bills. He turned down the offer, saying he blames himself for staying when my family was abusive. That remark really hurt me. That's not my family! He then told me that he expected his life partner would defend and protect him, and that he lost respect for me. I think he is unforgiving, and he says I need to get my head out of the fog (actually a part of my anatomy).
- R.C.
 

R.C.  You're a total asshole, and your family is, too.  What you described is a level of abusive disrespect and rudeness that is unreal.  Unless you a) change your simpleton outlook to not judge people by fucking size or b)  find someone (or do it yourself, you spineless bitch) that can stand up to your thick-headed chimpanzee-assed family, you should be alone.  And, eventually, die alone.  The fact that your family blamed your boyfriend for what happened is beyond me.  Like its his fault they tricked him by putting meat into a casserole after he stated he didn't eat meat?   What's so fucking hard to understand about that?  The fact that you don't understand is idiotic at best.  Nobody should have to go through what he did, and what I definitely don't get is why he hasn't dumped your ass and firebombed your family's house.  What a bunch of assholes.  He should shit on their front step every day for a month.  Your family should be beaten and sold into slavery.  They're Neanderthals.

Its tough enough meeting the fam.  They should be accommodating him, not testing him out like a ride at a carnival. Normal people don't treat each other that way. 

Backwards assed fucks.  Its people like you and your family that lower the standard mean IQ in this nation.  --Argentum

Dear Carolyn: I'm quite certain my wife has had an affair, based on actions that include late-night e-mails, lots of text messaging, and an unusually large number of girls' nights out. (I know those all could be innocent, but we've been married 13 years, and I'm picking up a strange feeling.)

I don't know this for certain, though. Do I ask directly if she has had an affair, or is there another way to discuss it?� Cleveland

Is there any other way?  You, sir, have to be one of the biggest doormat pussies I have ever seen.  You know she's cheating.  You know someone is cheating, or verging on cheating, when things change between you.  Behavior changes, feelings change.  You got all the evidence you need, pal.  Decide where it goes from here, what you want, and what you can live with you twat.

Ok, Ok, Ok.  I'll relent.  But only a little.  And only out of flat out pity.  Try something like, "Hey, what the fuck is going on?"  And don't let her play it off. "What do I mean?  Well something is different between us."  For fuck's sake man, reach between your legs and grab a pair.  This is the woman you stab repeatedly with your cock, like a brute animal in the forest.  You should be willing to talk to her. 

Or stick your head in the sand, don't say anything. 

You could take it an entirely different direction, I guess.  See if she's down with freak-shows, threesomes, and an open relationship.

Frankly, I think you're too much of a puss to have an open relationship.  But its a thought.

What do you need, a neon fucking sign?  Break open the bank account and buy a fucking clue.  --Argentum