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Dancing with IPODS and RIding Clowns before/after On the way to work today, as I drove up the entrance on the grounds I thought about my encounter with the ceo yesterday. I wondered how far could I push it. I got an impulse to strap on the IPOD and strut up to her office. Then dance. Wildly. Flail my arms around in awkward arcs. Move my body to rythms only I can hear. Dance, and dance horribly. Dance embarassingly. And when she interrupted me, I'd just say, "Oh, yeah. We talked yesterday on the phone. I'm Argentum. Do you remember me?" Then I'd point to my face like I learned in acting class. Come up with some sketchy excuse for being there, maybe nag her about the logging going down on a parcel of property a few miles away that scaring the deer, frightening the turkeys, and absoluetly mangling the roads. They snap the trees in half. I hate it. Then leave. How long would it take until I was fired? Would I be able to reach my desk? Still, I pay no attention to these impulses. They past through the vast mpty expanse of my mind like tumbleweeds, and I take no responsibility for them. Strangely enough, this is a new branch of psychology. In its zeitgiest, a former patient has come up with a revolutionary new method which involves not taking any abstract thoughts seriously. Any impulse generated is something generated by the mind. As in, that suicidal thought of depression was generated by my mind, not "I'm depressed". The thought is a thought and not ME. I thought this was patently obvious, considering how much depression and other behaviors could really be prescribed to bad chemical balances in the brain. They've always known that tumors can influence behavior. Its it really a breakthrough to consider that a faulty organ might be to blame for some of the thoughts that course through one's head? Sure I get some doozies. I supposed I'd like to blame all the lame fantasies on it as well. But we can't have every wish, because what would we wish for? Boy, that's a stupid thought. Who ever came up with that one was full-of-shit. I mean, really, if I could have every wish, we'd have one cool-assed universe. Of course, there would be a lot of Argentum worshiping going on and sacrificing of virigns on the altar of Libidinous Urges. But that's a small price to pay for progress. See, because we wouldn't sacrifice the girls that know what they're doing, we'd want to keep them around. And we'd get rid of all the virigns and....and....and... We'd ride on clouds. Clouds, not clowns. Well, shit, if you want to ride on a clown, fuck it up, yo! RIDE THAT MOTHERFUCKER! We'd be in harmony with the environment and eachother. And ourselves. We'd know enlightenment, and be free of suffering. Everyone would have food, all the happiness they could have, shelter. Clothing. Education. Peace. Fullfillment. Love.
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