After all, it depends on what you do in them.  Office work doesn't get them really all that dirty.  And often I will look at these pants in the morning, and they look so comfortable, they seem to call to me.

My pants hang over the door at night, not crumpled in a heap on the floor or in the laundry basket, so sometimes I'll go four or five days in a row in the same slacks, hoping no one notices.

[ed. note...that's counting the weekend days, too.  Doubling up only occurs once a week at work anymore, and there is the two days off for class during the week] 

I mean, I could rotate my shit, but if no one knows or cares, why bother?  Its not like they smell.  I change my underwear and everything.  I shower and get clean.

But often when I get laid, I seem to invariably get semen stains on the outside of my pants.

This is where it gets perverse, I guess.  Its almost like a challenge.  Like, if I make it through the day, or my time with someone, and no one notices, well then, I WIN.  Of course, what's someone going to say?  "Excuse me, but I couldnt help but notice the semen stain on your trousers...will they be joining us again tomorrow?"

And I'm sure it helps that I have multiple pairs of most colors.  Two brown, two black and so on.  I could always claim they made a mistake.  After all, who are THEY to be paying so much attention to my pants?  Freaks...its THEIR problem and not MINE.  Why are they looking at my pants anyway?

I did get caught once.  Not for semen stains, although I can't be sure they didn't appear on my pants that week.  I was working for the @urora publ1c schoo1 distr1ct as a web developer, and one of the head secretaries complained.

I walked up in the parking lot as she spoke with the department superintendent.  I was wearing ripped jeans that had been on me for most of the week.

"I mean, just LOOK at him...those PANTS..." I hear her say.

And the superintendent said to me, "Hey Arg...buy some dockers.  Some beige slacks."

Sure.  Its no problem.  I like beige anyway.