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Bar Owners Can Suck My Asshole
2005-03-15 - 11:09 p.m.


before/after
strangely non-functional guestbook

I stood on the stage, bathed in white light.  I turned to Mick and said, "Lets take a break."


The rest of the house sat in darkness.  We'd played for awhile, and played well, putting out a good sound.  Not mistake free, but real.  Original.


Mick turned to the microphone. "Take a break?  Take a break?"  he said.


"NO!  KEEP PLAYING GOOD MUSIC!"  a girl shouted from the back.


I looked into the audience, squinted and sheilded my eyes from the light.


"Who said that?"  I asked, sounding a bit more deep and authoritative than I wanted.  I wanted to sound playful, but I missed it by a lot.


She skuttled off into the darkness, never to be heard from again. 


"We're takin' a break." Mick said.


So we took our break.  The crowd was good.  Attentive.  They hooted and hollered, really paying attention.  I loved it.  And the lights and sound was incredible.  I couldn't see the audience the whole night.  It was like a dusty lounge.  Seedy, dirty, the building is American old.  I loved it, even though we got screwed as a buisness deal, not even really covering our expenses with out take.


But everyone loved us.  Later on, a manager from another bar sat down with us and made us an offer to be their house band on Saturday nights with more pay.  He would not let us go.


So we played there, too.  It will take some building, but we'll make it. 


In between all of this, I sandwich work, sleep, and school.


Now this week, the manager of the Arlington, the first seedy bar, has been trying like hell won't have it to get ahold of us.  No dice.  But they want us to play again.  Their patrons are clamoring for us.  The owner, however, is a prick.  She guarunteed us money for sound, plus the door.  He wants to pay us half of that.


"Have you guys been playing long?"


"I've been playing forever." I replied.


"Well, lots of guys have been playing forever.  Some of them aren't any good."  He responded.  Well, whatever, asshole.  You guys called ME.


"They're good.  Everybody has been asking me when they'd come back.  That's what we're trying to do."  the manager, Jodi, said.


He stopped and thought.  Then lowballed me with half of the original offer.


I looked him straight in the eye.


"Its St.Paddy's day.  I guaruntee you'll make more than that in a night."  I said.


"Oh?"  he said.


"Look, I can't pay to play.  That's the thing.  I love the crowd, it was a great time, but I can't pay to play."


"I understand that." he said.


"And we need to have a band on St. Paddy's Day," Jody said, "I'll pay them out of my pocket if you don't."


"We have kareoke." he replied.


Gah.  You cheap, frustrating fucker.  All we're asking you to do is pick up the cost of sound.  At this point, I don't even care anymore.  My weekend is full except for this day.  I am making money if I do this for you or not.  I do know that you will fail on your own without my help, and I will make you money at this point.


"Well, you know my position."  I said, and shook hands.  Jody leaned in and gave me a hug for some reason.


"You or Mick call me tomorrow morning..."   she said.


And I walked out the door. 


Suddenly, my musical skills are in demand all over town.  Radio spots started this week for our regular Saturday gig.


Now if I can just make it all work. 


Nah.  I know I can.


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