"Awwwh, I'm not looking forward to the drive home.  Tough to drive at night when you're wearing shades." He said. 

Craig is a family guy, older, has kind of a gut.  Nice guy, married, has a step daughter that hates him, and it drives him crazy.  I pick on him a lot.  He seems to like it.

Another guy, Frank, is on my right.  The bullshit never stops with Frank.  He's got a decent sense of humor and a strong streak of immaturity.  I think he's fathered a few children as well. Frank is a man-whore, and will take whatever he can get.  This has caused him to contract a vicious illness that has laid him low for awhile.

"Well, the when you're as cool as me, the sun shines on you 24 hours a day." he said.

I almost gagged.

"Yeah," Craig joined in, "I've got a future so bright, I've gotta' wear shades."

I couldn't hold it in.

"You guys are fuckin' dorks."  I said.

Whoops.  One thing I've learned in my immersion into the geek world is that you can tease them about almost anything.  Throw anything their way and they love it.  Just give them some attention and treat them...not as geeks. 

Anything else can be anathema.  Unless they have a sense of humor about their outrageously awkward socialization skills.

And I don't want to be mean to anyone.  Not really, not anymore.  I don't want to put that energy out.  True, I'll say a lot of seemingly horrible things that are often very much, or totally true, but I manage to say them in a way that's funny, or amusing.  I just couldn't help it this time.

I flushed the urinal and started walking away.  I felt bad.  They're nice guys, after all. 

Then I accused Frank of being a man-whore.

"You, Frank, got your cold from a girl."  I couldn't stop myself, and maybe I wanted to cover my original statement under a pile of bullshit.  Which never works, people can sniff it out for what it is when its personal and in their faces.  Not when its at a distance over the tv, newspaper or internet.  Not the important bullshit that should set radars off across the nation.  No, my innocuous infantile response raises an uproar.

I blame the media.

"You see, Craig, when you make out with three different girls in a night-"

And lets be clear here, Frank does not make out with three QUALITY women in a night, okay?  Three, as Ralph, my gym owning friend calls them, 'Sea Donkeys'.

Yes, Ralph.  Sea Donkeys.  Not girls. Not human beings. Sea donkeys.  At the time Ralph was admitting to me that he got a name on a plaque at his fraternity, of which he was president, because he sat in this one chair and let his friends watch him have sex.  Many times, I guess.  You got your name on the plaque for doing it once.  We ended up on that tangent of revelation when he asked if one girl he saw me with was my girlfriend, which she was not.  She was an unattractive creative writing student who, depending on the adjustment level of her meds, is a nice chatty friend, or a severe annoyance.  "Was that your girlfriend?"  he asked.  "No, no, no.  I wouldn't date a girl like that."  "I would" he said.  "You would?"  I asked.  "Oh yeah.  I've done a lot of sea donkeys.  I don't care."  "Really." I replied. "Yeah, a few coyote uglies, where you want gnaw your arm off rather than wake them up...?"

"-And when you make out with a bunch of different girls in a night, you get a cold." I continued on at Frank.

Yes. I am speaking from experience.  Hypocrite that I am. Usually only on New Years Eve, though, to be fair.  Then, its allowed.  Or should be. 

"Like the one Frank has.  From being a MAN-WHORE."

It didn't help.  I could feel their discontent as we walked outside.

I feel bad about it.

Addendum:  Today I go to class, nothing is said.  As if nothing had ever happened.