I think I could've got a high paying gig, but I would have had to kiss the owner's ass, and do it in front of his sycophantic friends.  I just couldnt do it.  I know myself well enough to know that if something make me feel less than myself confident in doing it, then I am not being true to myself and my intentions will not match my actions.

In this case, i chose to stay true to myself.  And I can only hope I didnt steer the rest of the band wrong.  These guys need it badly.

But I felt I would be put in a position to make the music supplicant to what it is for me.  made it supplicant to this owner and his desires.  I couldnt do that.  I couldnt do that to myself, and to the guys. 

And the thing is, I'm sure there are lots of bar owners like that guy.  I'd bet a lot of the industry works that way.  Maybe someday I will look back on that attitude and laugh. 

But maybe not.  The music has always won with me.  it has always overcame.  And if it didnt today, it will tomorrow.  And if we keep doing what we are doing, we will prevail.  The buzz is generating, word is spreading.  We are building momentum like a wave.  A tsunami, and eventually they will be swept away in the wake of our passing, pulled up, uprooted from their attitudes and forced to a new height.

And there we were, in the high-rent bar, empty now, playing for the sheer joy of it.  The guys looking to me to calm them down, me as the bed-rock, and I did.  I played for the love.  And they followed.  I just hope I didnt steer them wrong.

I guess, how can you go wrong staying true to yourself?