ss1

Arm Around Politics
2003-11-18 - 1:02 a.m.


before/after
strangely non-functional guestbook

 

Friday I went and saw Matrix Revolutions.  Whatta disappointment. 

Cliche.

I went with an attractive, if shy girl.  Very pretty eyes.  We saw the movie together.

A long time ago, I stopped putting the arm around in the theatre.  I stopped with all of it in the theatre, really.  No kissing, fondling, groping or whatever else can be done in a theatre after the lights go out. 

Because putting the arm around...frankly, it kinda' sucks.  The arm goes numb and hurts.  So I decided to put a stop to it, which, when you're in a relationship at the time, will cause problems, because apparently that means that Something is Wrong.

But anyway, I digress.

So I'm sitting in the theatre, with this really nice, pretty, if shy, girl.   We shared the one arm rest, and periodically, I feel her wiggle. 

Then I start wondering if, and she has an online diary which kinda' says she does things like this, she's trying to send me some sort of message, like 'Put The Arm Around'.

The wiggling goes on and on.  And really, she was likely just getting comfortable in her seat.

But my inner dialogue goes on and nags. 

'Yeah, but what if that IS a sort of message, you know she talked about innocuously groping a guy's thigh in her diary...like just brushing it and stuff...'

And I thought about it, and my stance on Putting the Arm Around.  Of course, the dick always helps out in decisions like these.

'DUDE!  DO YOU SMELL HER!  AWOOOOOO!'

And she did smell really, really good.  Sexy and tasty.

Some girls can really nail down a fragrance.  Some do it by luck, some maybe just know.  And, of course, some fuck it up blandly and obviously.  Nothings more garish and off putting than stripper smell.

So I sat and tried to watch the pathetic movie some more.  No dice.  The movie was horrible, and the inner monologue started up again.

'She's wiggling again, like INTO you.  Pay attention!  She could be stuffed against the other side of the seat, but she's not.  Now, I know you dont like the Putting the Arm Around, but you should.  Its like a social ritual, a dance.  It shows her that you like her.  She might be upset if you DONT.  And then you'll feel like a big asshole-'

And in the background, the penis speaks up in a fusilade of enthusiasm.

'DUUUUUDE!  DID YOU GET A WIFF OF THAT!  LET ME OUTTA' HERE I NEED TO BREATHE  WOOOOOOO!'

I swear, my cock is like a bad obnoxious drunk, and women are his booze of choice.

My inner monologue (dialogue?) continues.

'So Put the Arm Around, and for God's sake, DONT do the cheesy 'yawn and stretch' move.  That's so 12th grade.'

So I put my arm around her.  She felt good.

Eventually, I notice she's having neck issues with my arm there, but of course, she can't SAY anything about it, heaven forbid, in the ritual dance, and risk that I be offended at the proffer of the suggestiong that I Remove the Arm Around.

And then my arm goes numb. 

It was all such a normal, middle american thing.

The rest of the night went fine, although I probably won't say a whole lot more, because I'm willing to bet she'll read this.

And I'm not the type to kiss and tell. 


a template by wicked design

about comment designer archive archives newest diaryland

tml>