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Fuck Roy
2003-10-06 - 12:33 a.m.


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Frankly, the Siegfried and Roy thing amuses me. 

Especially the part about how he starts hitting the tiger with a microphone.  Like THAT will help things.You're just pissing it off at that point, and making it want to hold onto whatever its chewing that much more.  Somebody else wants it.  It must be good.

I don't ever want anyone to suffer, but I really doubt that doing a Las Vegas show twice nightly in front of hot lights and huge crowds is how a bengal tiger wants to spend its time, being prodded with chairs and sworn at in foreign languages by two middle aged, tights wearing Austrian homosexuals.

I'd be pissed off, too.  I'd loathe them with a passion unseen since the early days of fighting and fornication.  I'd burn with a dark anger.  All the tricks.  Sit on a chair.  Jump.  Two austrian fruits bullying me around.  I'm a tiger, goddamit!  All that bullshit would only serve to heighten the resentment.  I'd spend my time counting the days.  Abiding. Nurturing the hate, stoking the furnace of revenge.  Waiting for exactly the right moment.

Don'tchu lookit me in the eye, goddamit, Roy.  Don't you fuckin' do it.  I'm a fuckin' tiger.  A TIGER.  I roam the jungle!  Late at night!  With this pelt, the amount of chicks I could get would be LEGENDARY!  Dammit roy!  I kill and-- don't you fuckin' poke me with a chair--prick--don't--don't you fuckin' poke me with a chair, roy--DON'T--DONT YOU POKE ME WITH A FUCKIN' CHAIR. ROY.

And sure, you could make an argument that a certain behavior set off the tiger's instinct, that it didn't really hate Roy.   All the more reason not to put a bengal tiger on a las vegas showroom stage to be prodded with chairs and sworn at by two middle aged, tights wearing Austrian homosexuals twice nightly. 

The tiger wants to roar.  Fuck.  Kill and eat meat.  Fight other tigers that wander into its territory.  Not do a Vegas show. 

I laugh, then I feel bad about it.  


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