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The End? before/after "I think I'm in over my head." she said. She's said this before. Its the first time she's gone out with a guy who is smarter than she, the first time she didn't have the upper hand, and she doesn't know exactly how to feel about it. I don't think she likes it. I think she likes to have guys she can control and dominate. I am so not that guy. "Well, Lydi, I don't want to be a negative in your life. You came into my life, and I accepted you, embraced you, and learned to love you. I just want to make you happy. And if that means that to be good to you, I have to let you go, then, that's what I'll do. I'll give you all the space you need." I said. The sun had gone down, and we hadn't turned on the lights. We were sitting in the living room, on the leather sofa. "I see what you are saying, perhaps, about this being based soley on sex, but remember, I have several times tried to make plans with you, only to have you break them." I said. "Yeah, you're right. I know you're right. So maybe its all in my head. But I know how you are...you want me to stay the weekend, and I'm just thinking we need a weekend off. I think you need someone who come over every night." she said. We were cuddling at that point. I shifted so my head lay in her lap, my arms around her. "I don't want someone who will come over every night, Lydie, I want you." I said. She ran her fingers through my hair, and traced the lines of the muscles in my back. Over and over, her touch as soft as silk. I knew she worried a lot. Way more than most people. I knew she just came out of a three year relationship a few weeks ago, as she moved 10 hours away from home. I knew I was overwhelming her, but I couldn't help it. Part of me regretted being as nice as I have to her. It felt slightly untrue. I've always been a sort of distant lover, something of a strange addiction, just enough to make a girl want more, never disturbing my life until she was utterly mine, body and soul. It always feels like the distance is something they rage against, and embrace, a choice, something to strive against, something they feel comfortable with, as walking away is so easy, so temptingly easy, winning admiration a battle, which is already won, but tearing down the wall becomes a cause. I had been overwhemingly candid and accepting. Available. And always, it seems that girls don't accept what is easily available, as perhaps its just not true. I just wanted to be good to her. I wanted to give her some of the goodness I held back from my last serious relationship, regardless of the timing. I wanted, in the end, to prove to myself, that I was not one of those souless, asshole guys who leaves a trail of bent minds and broken hearts in his wake. I wanted to prove to myself that I could be good. And I did. I kissed her passionately. The fire grew between us. Maybe she is right. Maybe this is all physical. But I invested effort in communication. And I live my life with passion, is it any surprise that this translates to a healthy libido? She's just so young. Doesn't know herself very much at all. Her tongue felt so good against mine. Her skin so soft and taut, like sheets of satin. She moaned in my embrace, I could feel my passion sweeping her away again. Her hands flirted around my pants, slipping in to grab my manhood. I obliged by undoing my pants, and she stroked my cock luxuriously. Well, I never planned on meeting her in the first place. It was a happy interlude, and I am none the poorer if it ended today. I shifted position again, and kneeled on the sofa in front of her, my erect cock inches away from her face. She looked in my eye, and I could see the maisma, the current of wild passion in her eye. She leaned close and took my cock in her mouth, blowing me with passion unrestrained. I thought for a moment, "Is this a mistake? She's talking about space, and she's blowing me?" But it didn't matter. The passion swept me with it, and I moaned in delight, feeling her lips on my cock, her tonuge stroking my length, her hair in my hands. "I love you." I murmured. And she responded with more enthusiasm. It didn't take long. I hadn't masturbated all week, which is a fatal flaw. I came in her mouth, and my body went limp. What just happened here? What was agreed to? She went and got a drink of water, came back, and we cuddled in the darkness. Roomie came back and eventually turned on the lights. We watched him try to set up his new DVD player, and I formulated a plan for the nights activities. Making a decision to go downtown, and put up with my despicable future sister-in-law and my brother, gambling that sis-in-law would be well behaved because Lydia was there, wanting to get out of the house, we set off for the night. What a strange night it was to be.
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