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Space, The Final Frontier before/after Talked to Lydia last night. It was nice. Line of the night: Lydia: "All week, my phone's been silent. You didn't call. You didn't email. No one called." Argentum:"Well, I would have called, but you said you wanted some space. A weekend off, right? I'll give you all the space you need." This has happened in several relationships, or budding relationships that I have had. I'm not sure whether to write it off as yet another in a line of simple minded games that some girls seem to play, or an actual moment or process. I always do the same thing each time: freeze out. I did not, however, play hardball, which would consist of a statement along the lines of: "Well, you wanted to add some space to the mix, but you really can't say how much or how long it will last, now, can you." I am comfortable giving space. You want a weekend to yourself? Some space? Fine. I will give it to you without hesitation. And should I ask for some space and time on my own, I want it without question. I never ask any questions. I will know what's up given the behavior displayed when I see you again. I don't need to ask. It drives them crazy when I ask no questions(or hardly any, sometimes I get led into asking a question) about what they did or whom they were with during their "time of space." And they end up telling me, anyway. Of course they do. Me? Suppose I take a weekend "for some space". So...what did you do? Stuhhhfff. Who did you do it with? People. Did you have fun? Yeah. If a girl wants a weekend apart to do something, fine. Have pretty much any weekend you want. Give me a call wherever you end up. Let me know what happened when you get back. If someone wants space, however, its more of a privacy deal to me. I am pretty well self contained, and I think that, ever since the shock and rude lessons learned after losing my first girlfriend, I pretty much always run a self-check on my sense of self-dignity, respect and wellness. How will I feel if so-and-so left me right now? Roughly the same. A little disappointed. Okay, good. Onward and upward. On to What's Next. If it got to the point where I would not be okay, then I suppose I would have to reassess and make changes. But its never gotten to that point. I am a romantic, but I don't fall on the thorns of life and bleed with every girl that passes through my life. There are worse things. It takes longer to rebuild self-respect, self-esteem, and a sense of dignity than it does to find another girlfriend. In short, I will give a girl my heart, but I will never give over myself. Also, I don't want to keep someone who doesn't want to be kept. I only want someone that wants to be with me. And, I suppose, having gone through a couple of these "I need a weekend apart, some space to think" types of things, if you set someone totally free, and they still want to come back to you, they are yours, and not by anything you have done, but by their freewill choice, and it always seems to work out for the better. I just pity the poor clingy sons-a-bitches type guys who throw a fit when their girl, or prospective paramour, asks for some space, a weekend off. Such is the death-knell of any relationship, budding or otherwise. And you will be beaten like a mouse in a shoebox, clingy fellow. Sometimes you just have to respect yourself and love someone else enough to let them go. And if they don't come back, fuck it.
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