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Ritchie Rich
2003-10-16 - 12:13 a.m.


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The thing I don't like about Ritchie Rich isn't his ponderous, undeserved wealth.  Its not his bushes shaped like dollar signs, or his unabashed endorsement of wealth equalling societal worth.

Its his white boots.  I've never been able to come to terms with them.

Its as if the guy who drew them just decided he was done with the drawing, drew a line across the calf, and painted his feet white.  Its so lazy it borders on the disrespectful.  And it makes me not like Ritchie Rich.

Sure, he's got his own robot, a heilocopter, and a solid gold house, but that's no reason to loathe someone.  Not really.

He doesn't mean to make you feel bad about your place in life, or the fact that when you look around your parents and grandparents houses as a child, that there are no magnificent vaults filled with large amounts of free piled green cash laying about, mixed in with diamonds and solid gold bars.  Its no reason to wish for his demise.  His painful demise.

I heard somewhere they were going to make a Ritchie Rich movie, starring one of the multioudonous Caulkin brood.  That's a great career move.  

No, its the faggoty white half assed boots that's got me perplexed with Ritchie Rich.  You'd think with the amount of sycophants that hover around a being of such wealth, that somebody would try to steer him away from the skin tight white leather boot, black shorts and tuxedo look.

"You, know, ritchie, you're look is simply to DIE for, but have you ever considered long pants and black shoes?  Its ALL the rage."

Once, in the back of a comic book, I saw a strip of Ritchie Rich, drawn by someone else, I believe.  All fleshed out, still with the shorts, but the white boots now were loose fitting, with a cuff at the top of the leg.

Glad they got the cuff in there.  The artist who they farmed the work out to had to be exasperated with how lazy the original "artist" had been.

If I saw someone wearing black shorts, tuxedo shirt, coat, cumberbun, ascot, and skin tight white leather boots, I'd think only one thing  :  flaming homosexual.

Which is fine, do as you do.  But everyone in the world appreciates subtlety.

Maybe flash and bling bling is in, I don't know.

But I do know one thing, Ritchie Rich totally reminds me of one of those gay guys that likes to lay in a tub and have five other guys pee on him.


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