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Randomness
2002-06-29 - 3:56 p.m.


before/after
strangely non-functional guestbook

Randomness:

I walked into the parking lot a few days ago at the gym

A woman was wandering through the parking lot also, looking like she couldn't find her car.

"Lost your car, huh?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "I lost my friend."

"Oh, that's too bad. Is it that woman over there?" I asked, indicating a woman sitting on a bench.

She looked.

"No, that's not her. I think she left without me. I had all these things to do and I..."

"You're chronically late, aren't you." I accused.

"Well..." she said.

"Honesty." I prompted.

"Yes."

"Well, I'm sorry you lost your friend."

"Me too," she said, "Thanks for trying."

"I did try." I said, then got into my car. "Seeya'."

I opened the moonroof and put the windows down.

As I pulled through the parking lot, I said in a flimsy high-pitched matronly falsetto, "Oohhh, noooo, looook at meeee. I lost my friend. Oh-oh-oh-oh. Ohhhh-noooo. Feeeeel sorry for meeeee. I lost my friend. Oh-oh-oh-oh."

Then I realized that likely she could still hear me and I stopped.

-------

I pulled into the carwash. A sixteen year old girl was there taking money. Maybe seventeen.

"Hi," I said, pulling out a fiver. "How are you?"

"Just the five dollar wash. Okay." she said taking the money.

She was blond with a pony tail and pink, pink, pink fingernails.

Flat chested, yes, but a decent figure otherwise. She was a sort of perky cute girl, much in flavor seemingly between a really tasty peice of traditional flavored gum and a minty sort of "woah, that's fresh" piece of spearamint.

Young. No taste test possible.

"Oh, I'm doing good. I'm hot." she said.

"YEAH YOU ARE." I said.

She giggled and blushed.

"I like your nail polish," I continued, "Would you say that's bubblegum or straight on pink?" I asked.

She looked confused, yet feeling complimented.

"I...(giggle) don't even know. I...I...(giggle) uhhhh....lost the polish bottle."

"Oh, " I said quietly, "That's sad. Thanks, sweetie."

And I drove off.

-------

I went to Taco Hell a few days ago to get some iced tea.

"I want the largest possible iced tea you have to offer me." I spoke into the speaker.

"Okay." the girl said.

"I want to be able to swim in it." I said.

"Okay," said the girl, "Dollar forty four."

I pulled up, and a sixteen year old girl leaned out with my iced tea. It was rather large.

"Your swimming pool, sir," she said, and proceeded to giggle.


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