Saintly Stories

Michael Jackson
2001-08-30 - 3:20 p.m.

before/after
strangely non-functional guestbook

Welcome to GoLive CyberStudio 3 Is it me, or has everything Michael Jackson done since the nineties been designed to convince the world he's not a pedophile?

One the charges broke, he flew into the country to the most obscure point he could.

He got on national television making that weird, desperate appeal after the cops took pictures of his cock.

He bought the kid's family off.

Got married to Lisa Marie, and made sure they were clearly making out during the photo-op.

Got divorced, and then knocked up a cleaning lady. A cleaning lady! He's the King of Pop! Its like he paid this cleaning lady to fuck him, and bear his child, as if pedophiles don't have children. Would have loved to read the pre-nup.

Opened up the 'Neverland Ranch' to the community. Drawing in more victims, is what I call it.

Then after the cleaning lady ditched him, presumeably for reasons of weirdness, most likely pedophilia, he started promoting and donating money to children's charities. Kids charities! Yeah, that proves he's not a pedophile. Scouting for fresh victims, most likely.

And now his lateset 'comeback album': Invincible. Invicible to what? Prosecution?

The latest 'leaked' single starts out with a sound sample of Michael and Chris Tucker talking about a girl. "Yeah, I'm gonna get her. She's mine." It sounded sooooo contrived. It would be more realistic for him to say, "Yeah, look at that Macauly Caulkin...I'm gonna' get his ass. He's mine." Its as if he wrote this song to once again, say to the public, "Look! I like girls! Hot girls! Legal girls! Look! I'm not a pedophile! I'm a lady killer!". Please. Spare me.

It was all sown up when he bought the family off. Or rather, paid for the 'Out Of Court Settlement' of child molestation charges.

When someone levels charges like that in a public forum, you do whatever it takes to clear your name. You can't hide behind cash, because that proves nothing. You make it big, loud and conclusive. And then you sue the fuck out of the false accuser. Anything else means you are guilty, and its just a matter of degree.

And really, was anyone surprised?

First it was the chimp, and then the oxygen tank he slept in. Then the Elephant Man bones.

I understand the elephant man bones as in, "Look, he was a freak, and with my life, I feel the same way, too. My celebrity has made me feel like a freak. So I want to own his skull."

Great. But does anyone really need a freak skeleton in their house. I think not. Okay, yes the thought of having Elephant Man bones standing in the corner m akes me giggle to think of it, especially at parties, where you don't even acknowledge them, or perhaps go over to it and talk to it on occaison when no one is really paying too much attention to you.

"No. Nooo. No. I can't do that. No. Noo."

Or just putting one of those party hats on him and draping him with streamers.

But even that crosses the line of humanity, owning someones bones for display. How creepy. Eeeugh.

You know why he really had them: skull-fucking. Probably skull fucked the shit out of those elephant man eye sockets. Morning, noon, and night. Visitors come over,"Where's Michael?" "Oh, he's upstairs, skull-fucking the remains of the elephant man. It makes him feel better." In the background they hear: "Who's-the-freak-now? Who's-yo-da-ddy? Sha-mon!"

Wearing the masks. Plastic surgury.

Then it was the kids.

Then he started hanging out with Emmanuel Lewis (child midget actor from the 'Webster' television series.)

Then Macauly Caulkin.

The 'Neverland Ranch'.

THEN he got caught, and bought the family off. It was simply no surprise.

This leaves me wondering what his next act will be, in this long quest to change everyone's minds, but having a definite unwillingness to actually stare down the accusations in a court of law.

Its all calculated to attempt to prove he's not a child molestor.

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