ss1

I Don't Often Lose My Shit...
2003-02-12 - 4:17 p.m.


before/after
strangely non-functional guestbook

Had a bad experience with the porn last night.

It was two thirty am and I was laying by my computer downloading music, and the thought struck me..."why don't I take a look at some of the smut I downloaded,"

Why not.

I had the volume on low.  And thinking nothing of it, I opened this one using a different player than the windows media player.

And while I had the volume on the media player low, the computer volume was not.

The volume on this player was ALL THE WAY UP.  And it was this weird little peice of porn that was amusing to me.  It was this multiple partner peice where a girl is totally getting reamed anally with a huge cock.  Just a giant cock in the ass.  It amused me, because the look on her face was just that.  "Oh my god, I've got something very large and uncomfortable in my ass."

In my defense, I hadn't listened to it yet.

And out of my speakers comes this sound.  This wailing sound.  A very very loud and unmistakeable wailing sound.  Its so quiet in the house, one could hear a pin drop.  Even the humidifier had quit.

"Ohhhh  OHHHhhhhhh  OHHHHHHHhhhh  OOHHHHHHH  OHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

She's wailing louder and LOUDER.  My speakers start to vibrate from the sound.

"OOHHHHHHH  OHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

I lose my shit.  It doesn't happen often but I fuh-reaked.  Frantically looked over the entire computer for a volume knob that didn't exist.

And she's still getting louder and LOUDER.  And the guys standing around her with semi-erect peni start saying really crude things in gravelly voices.  Things like, "yeah, I think she likes it.  I think she really likes it. She likes it in the ass."  and "Now spit it out all over you.  Spit it out on your tits.  Good girl."

And its really LOUD.  It ECHOES.  And I fuh-reak.  Start jabbing and poking the computer to no avail.  Tried closing it frantically.  No good.  I'm getting messages that say, "this program is non-responsive. To end task now and go back to windows..."

"OOHHHHHHH  OHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

I try closing the lap.  Normally this puts the computer to sleep.  Not now. Now the moans are slightly muffled as they echo off of cavernous stucco ceilings from inside my closed laptop.  No good!

In a straight up panic, I just start pushing any relevant button I can find.  Finally find the off switch.

"Preparing to hibernate..."

"OOHHHHHHH  OHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

DAMN IT!

Not knowing what else to do, I threw myself on top of the grenade, laying my arms over the speaker in a futile attempt to stifle the sounds of fake orgasm resonating throughout the house like a defective woofer.

Eventually, gratefully, the computer shuts off and the moaning stops.

The silence was deafening.

Haven't spoken to my 'rents yet.  Thankfully, they were gone by the time I got up this morning.

So, I think I'll lay off the porn for awhile.


a template by wicked design

about comment designer archive archives newest diaryland

tml>