I fucked the hell out of Shelia for an hour, and then wentdown on her for a quick fifteen minutes.

My darker side has been coming out in bed, probably due to boredom more than any other reason. It was a cycle. I teased her mercilessly. Entering slowly, and fucking with deliberate slowness, gradually quickening until I let her reach a rhythym with me, enjoying that for awhile...gripping her by the back of her long, brown hair and punishing her ;with brutally strong hip strokes...then breaking off of that rhythym and entering her incredibly wet pussy by the centimeter, with deliberate slowness again, so, so slowly fucking her, whispering dirty little nothings, eroticisim...starting the teasing process over again, amidst her panting, moaning and clawing at the head of the bed.

I took her to a place that wasn't even human. She actually growledat me.

She pulled my hair a bit, for some reason. i don't care, but have a reason for it. Like grabbing my hair, and forcing my head between your thighs for a little taste of the kitty. I like that.

I changed to a sweet and respectable pace, fucking her cheek-to-cheek.

me:"You'll never be able to dance with me cheek-to-cheek again without thinking of this..."

She: (gasping laugh)"...I know."

She was a puddle of flesh when I stopped. Overall, it was pretty tame. Missionary...Legs Over the Shoulders...and my Super Secret Sideways Position that allows easy hand access to the clit (best for extended duration fucking, and with a girlfriend whom you love, and loves you, which for me seems to be in short supply.)

But she did not make me "get all the way there", if you follow.

The least she could've done was show me some attentiveness. Anything. Nothing worse than a selfish lover. But no.

I will be nice. I am a nice guy.

But one freakishly dark corner of my mind thrills and giggles at the evil possible, which I would never say or do, all things considered. It is a phone call.

She:"Hello."

me:"Hey."

She:"What are you doing?"

me:"Nothing. Fucking around."

She:"Cool."

(pause)

me:"So...what's up?"

She:"Nothing. Just wondering if you wanted to come over..."

me: (long pause)"why." (pause, as emotions catch in her throat)

(click)

...as I hang up the phone, smirk, and laugh a single evil sick chuckle to myself.

Yeah. I know.

I think I was hard enough on her melon as it stands. Obsessive and selfish girl. It only gets darker here on out.

She will obsess over the fact that she did not make me cum...and struggle with her love for me. (Should I blow him? Do I love him? Will he keep seeing me if I don't make him cum? Can I blow him and not love him? Do I not love him? Do I love him?) all tied into her claim that fellatio is ' an intimate act, a demonstration of caring and love, more intimate than sex...'

('Course I tried to get her to blow me at the start, are you kidding? To me its more intimate than shaking hands, but its short of the whole enchilada. I believe you can keep on going w/o hurt feelings if you leave it at that level...and no one has to say or do anything after, 'cause it wasn't such a big deal...)

Sadly, once she gets past all this...

...she'll love every minute of it...

 

...up until the

'You Need To Find A Guy Who'll Treat You Right'

conversation,

...and I walk out the door.

'Cause she really does need a guy who'll hang on her every word and treat her like a princess, and I'm just not it. Not for her, anyway. Probably not for anyone. Be with me or don't, y'know? Do expect occaisonal sweetness, caring, and love, but don't expect me to step and fetch. That's just not me.

And I think, given her needfulness, obssesiveness, and general insecurity, that's what she needs to be truly happy. Not that she's simply just those qualities, but that's already been thrown out there.

Anyway, I've got some lee time to figure out her state of mind, and hopefully there will be some unexpected twists before that bad sadness needs occur. Its so blatantly obvious I'm not the Right Guy for her. Hopefully she'll figure it out on her own.

Maybe nothing will happen. Maybe I'm wrong about most of it.

I don't know.