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The Brother's Grimm before/after
Why are so much of children's books and games so fucking strange?
People are worried about sex and violence on TV and in the movies. Read the Brother's Grimm. That's some stark shit.
Always casualties with those fucks.
Hansel and Grettle pushed a little old wiccan lady into an oven, after they find out she's a cannibal. (again with the cannibalisim thing...fuck!)
The boy, the man, and the donkey, who end up carrying the donkey which drowns in the river somehow. (You can please some of the people all of the time. You can please all of the people some of the time. But you can't please all of the people, all of the time. Okay. But did ya' have ta' kill the dumb animal?)
Little Red Riding Hood and the plotting wolf. Doesn't he eat grandma'? Why not? And if he did, what's with his grudge against LRRH? Did she turn him into the police? We're they grifters gone wrong? Did they love the same woman? WTF?
Cinderella, who gets rudely abused by her family, constantly, for years, until things break the right way for her.
Sleeping Beauty...poison.
Snow white, more poison. And if you read the original folklore, this is one FUCKED UP story. Bear hearts and all kinds of savagery. Yeah, tell your fuckin' kids that. The hunter dug snow white so much he whacked a bear, pulled out its heart, put in in a box and gave it to the queen.
Beauty and the beast...all about captivity.
Rumplestiltskin...don't even go there. Evil dwarves, bribery, hair climbing.
Bremman Town Muscians...pets escaping their murderous owners to forcibly deprive "robbers" of their food and dwelling. How the fuck do they know these guys are robbers?
And now I did a search and came up with more, but they're just too goddam freaky to be believed.
However, check out the Singing Bone.
Yeah, I thought it was funny, the singing bone, so I checked it out. Twist-ed. Three brothers decide to kill a wild pig that is bothering everybody, in hopes of getting the princess as a bride.
One retarded, mullet-having brother gets some supernatural help in the form of a magic black lance, received from a stranger, and he manages to whack the pig.
Walking back to town, his two brothers see he has the pig, and lure him to a bridge, where they cap his ass, and one of them takes the pig back and marries the princess.
A random shepherd finds a bone of the mulleted brother (in MY version...he has a mullet and downs syndrome), carves it into a horn, and get this, starts blowing the bone.
Not my choice of words.
Anyway, the bone horn sings about his death, the king finds out, puts the other brothers to death, and buries the Mulleted One in a beautiful grave.
What...the...fuck.
Okay, the brothers just arbitrarily turn on each other. And how does killing a pig get you a betty?
I still don't know.
And then there's always Alice in Wonderland, written by a pedophile.
Alice in Wonderland...opium smoking caterpillars, insane little girls, and a bloodbath at the end with lots of heads being chopped off...not to mention the mock turtle or the little baby that gets tossed around and turns into a pig after being sprinkled with pepper.
Even as a child, I recognized the weirdness, and relished it. But really, I have to wonder if those lessons and stories did something on a very basic level with me.
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