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Amusing Garbage before/after Simple thoughts of amusment: Today, in a strange nearby town, I pulled into a bank that had a drive through ATM. The clerks were in the window, doing there thing, and I wondered how long they'd let me go on, if I pulled up to the ATM and started screaming at the machine: "HELLO? I'D LIKE TO MAKE A DEPOSIT! HEL-LO!? HEL-LO!??" For some reason, this thought made me laugh a little maniacally. This just after I loudly declared that their town "sucked". This is in line with my declaration the other day at the fast food joint. I saw this inbred looking sort of guy, the sort of guy that was really soft, been cared for by his mom all his life, she cut his hair all the time or something, shuffling along with a soda. And I had one of those moments I have every once in a while, wherein, for some reason unknown to me, the thought censor was not in evidence. No thought censor available. And, like a bad Tom Arn*ld flick, it went straight to video. Or, in this case, straight to my mouth. (the fucking analogy STANDS, motherfucker) without one thought to the contrary, and LOUDLY as well, "OO! A MONGOLOID!" in a fit of enthusiasm. He heard me. No way around that. Looked at me, then quickly looked at the ground and shuffled off. I suppose my only saving grace in this, if there is one, is that he wasn't a mongoloid. I suppose that's a pittance of grace, but its grace. I'm not out there mocking retards. Then, in this strange town, I found a pizza buffet. Stopped and ate there. Besides pizza hut I've never eaten at the pizza buffets. So I didn't know what to do. Veteran of strange experiences as I am, and used to conditions much worse than the pizza buffet can offer, I sallied forth with good intent. Which promptly broke down as the notion to start howling "I'M NEEEWWW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOOO!" nearly overcame me, causing me to stifle a laugh. Because, nowadays, fuckers would cater to me in such situations, whereas in the old days, they'd probably ignore me as some sort of nuisance. I suppose that's the difference of early twenties vs. late twenties. After innumerable fuck ups and adventures, some sort of credibility is engendered. I cornered a hefty well acned teenage gal by the salad bar as she filled the lettuce bowl, and read her nametag. "Miss Lucy," I began, "I am a salad-idiot. What are these?" I pointed to two bottles on top of the salad bar. "That's oil and that's vinegar." she said with a thick chuckle. "Which do you recommend?" I asked. "I don't know." she said. "Pick one." I said, "I'm not gonna'-" "Huh. Both." she said. "Both? You're not going to pick one? C'mon..." She paused and gave it a bit more thought than was necessary. Of note is the fact that I've somehow lost the book I just bought, impelling me to harass hefty underage well acned salad bar girls. "Well, I'm not a fan of vinegar, so I'd recommend the oil." she said finally. "Fine, I'll do both." I said. I ended up liking the vinegar. To my credit, I had no lewd thoughts about her. Another girl was cute in her newness. And I made some eyes with a cute girl across the restaurant, who was eating with her truly huge boyfriend. He was easily four times the size of her. She must like it packed to her with a lot of mass. There was no way she could get her legs around him. Maybe he likes dominating a small woman. I don't know, but then it made me think of past girls and I let it go. Hmmm. I had tangible thoughts to express, and I got caught up in the pre-amble. Fuck it.
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