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Addendum To 'Go Dukes'
2002-10-04 - 6:45 p.m.


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The thing about the Retard Mike story that always bothered me was the lack of an easy moral.

On its face its totally existentialist.   This is life, these things happen, and there really isn't much of a reason for the things that happen.

I would like to maybe say something such as, 'I condemned them, walked away, and stood by Retard Mike, scorning them for their easy cruelty,', but I didn't, and I can't.

They were my friends, and still are my friends.  On some level I share cupability for feeding them psychadelics and loosing them upon the world, sure.  On the other hand, everyone is responsible for their own actions, and everyone makes mistakes, especially growing up.

It would be different if this was a regular occurence, or cruelty was displayed frequently, but it wasn't.  This was so far out of the realm, no one talks about it, and definitely pretends they don't remember what happened, although they all know I do, and always do.

Maybe I could say something like, 'I could have stood up to be counted, standing alone as I have many times, but in the end its perhaps to be in the company of stone throwers, rather than being the person at whom stones are thrown.'.

But that's not entirely true either, and perhaps this all misses the point.

The point is, is that it is what it is, a tale of medium cruelty and weirdness out of middle america.  These things happen, and the truth is it stays in the dark places no one likes to talk about, the unswept corners of the mind.

(and a lot of weird things happen in middle america, the hip cognosconti just wouldn't understand, only patronize.  Menage a trois and strange liasons, cruelty and confusion abound.  Middle America is as much as Metropolitan America is as Europe, Western Civilization and people in general.  We all want the same things, make most of the same mistakes, and get up and try again.  The weather just changes from place to place.)

And sometimes it helps to see the loom pattern from the full.

I never tell this story anymore, for obvious reasons.


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