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Acting before/after Did you ever stop and wonder if everyone in your life was faking? How about this: Hollywood Every actor out there bears no resemblance to the 'character' they portray. It is simply a facade, an amped up attitude and routine. The famous maybe have taken it to that extent and dominated by sheer charisma and weight of personality. But its not them. Its not the person that you would talk to at 4:00 A.M. about personal stuff. That person would admit their fears. Or should anyway. The person you talked to personally at 4:00 A.M. is the one that created that facade. Maybe sometime you reach down into their moated defenses and find the real person. Maybe that person is beautiful, or a stunning multi-colored toad of hubris and greed. So, maybe they're just acting all the time. Or most of the time. Portraying a character. What if the people in your life are doing that, too? Not everyone, no. Maybe not even more than a few. Maybe some are too genuine to do that. Or too simple. Or don't care to do so. I know there are trite sayings about it, 'Don't compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel.' (and I'm saying that so no one else *has* to.) I just wonder sometimes, you know, when you catch someone at just the right time, unprepared, and you see that inner person. What if there was no one there? Or what if that person was so alien in form it was jarring? Or what if that person seemed so...gruff and emotionless? So bottom line? Almost psychopathological? Sometimes I don't know what to do with those moments. It makes me wonder who else is acting. Who isn't. And what the fuck is up with the people that are? Have I made a mistake? Was I supposed to be fucking *acting* all this time and no one goddamn told me? I did not get the fucking memo. I guess I can't doubt myself that much. I mean, not really. On some main level, I don't give a fuck if I was supposed to be acting and not trying to...find myself? Be myself? I mean, being someone else can be fun, but at some point, don't you want to know how you tick? What makes you work? What makes you hum? What makes you happy? I just don't get it, and I don't know what to do with those moments.
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