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Hey guys, what's going on?
2009-11-10 - 10:07 a.m.


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I made the Dean's List my first semester in law school, along with the honor roll.

Business is not doing so well. I took over the family business from my dad after he passed away--I think I mentioned this--and its been struggling this year. It makes me feel like a failure.

I live in an economically depressed town, so its not entirely my fault. I try to think of ways to increase business, but the field is dominated by ophthalmologists that have large clinics and use deceptive practices to retain patients. I haven't even had a business degree, let alone a some sort of degree in optics, so I suppose this isn't surprising.

I enjoy being my own boss. It is, in the scheme of things, where I need to be in life. I suppose its tough to describe, but given my mentality...working for someone else who wasn't as talented as me was a situation doomed to failure. No one wants an employee that outshines them, and in such a situation any flaw is magnified. For instance: I could, and did, run many of the operations I was involved in better than the manager that was over me, but if I would take a long break, or come in five minutes late, then this was considered nearly treasonous.

As a rule I don't get bound up in things like that. Yes, details are important, and you need to master the details, BUT retain a view of the big picture at the same time.

I gave up the fight a long time ago, at least in a corporate environment, that to be five minutes late is no big thing, and should be overlooked in the 'big picture' view of job performance. Was I there at 8:05? Yes, I was late, but there was no one better at the job, so it should be overlooked, right? Right?

No. Unfortunately people with a millicent of power will abuse it as with petty abandon. And its that aspect of the rat-race that I never got. In my view, you should be judged on how well the whole ship is brought to port, not whether the decks got swabbed at the proper time.

That's not a great analogy, either. Fuck it. It is enough to say that the petty corporate mindset was not for me. I enjoy being late and being distracted by what my mind seizes upon at any given moment. Hopefully I will be able to make money from these traits some day. Well, maybe not the lateness thing, but I compensate for that by doing my job well and working hard when its needed.

So what happens when I eventually graduate law school and pass the bar?

I'd like to open my own shop...but I may have to work for someone else again for a term to get that started.

In the meantime, I'm dog paddling, treading water through life until such time as drastic change hits me in the face like a dead walleye being flung through the night.

And I have an hour and a half commute to class each way to deal with. Good thing I like driving.

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