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Movie Review: Little Children
2008-02-26 - 4:47 a.m.


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Watched the movie 'Little Children' tonight.

I started watching mainly to see Kate Winslet's rack. �And I did see Kate Winslet's rack.

Breastfeeding her children has not been kind.

HOWEVER, I got the best bonus aside from sagging breasts. �There is this scene where 'Ronnie', the local pedophile, goes on a date! �Hilarity ensues after 'Ronnie' finds out that his blind date was molested as a child. �Its night, and he makes her drive him to the local playground. �She's busy telling 'Ronnie' about how the last guy she dated left her in the middle of the date, but that 'Ronnie' wasn't like that. �He was a nice guy.

However, 'Ronnie' was too busy staring at her with dead eyes while he beat his meat with plodding ferocity.

He 'beat his meat'. *fapfapfapfapfap*

"DON'T YOU TELL ON ME! IF YOU TELL ON ME, I'LL GET YOU! �I'LL *GET* YOU!"

Holy shit did I laugh like Satan in a whorehouse. �I haven't laughed that hard in quite some time. �

(Seriously, is that *not* supposed to be funny? �Have I tripped that far over to the dark side? �Who couldn't find some humor in that? �Opportunisim, that's all that it was. �His eyes lit up at dinner when she brought her molestation up, and, as we say in the parlance of our times 'the check was in the mail on that one'.)

"I'LL GET YOU!"

Oh holy shit. �I stomped the floor and guffawed.� I'm laughing now, just thinking of it. �
What a first date!

If I had thought of that before Audrey...the temptation...oh god...can you imagine?

Thing is, I'd probably get away with it. � I mean, its not like I havent been out in a car with a girl on a date and whipped it out, pulling pud.

But that would be in the middle of a relationship, and it has resulted in hot sex on the side of the road.

This would be a FIRST DATE. � HAHAHahahahaHAHAHaahahAha

("And then Argentum pulled out his cock and started masturbating!" �'Ohmygod, what did you DO?' "Well, we'd been chatting on-line for a couple of months...so...' "OHMYGOD, YOU SUCKED HIS PENOR!")

Either that or, well, I don't know. �I wouldn't go to jail. �I think the threats of "Ill GET YOU" �followed by the abject humiliation that would likely follow from a bad vibe during the turkey jerk session would ensure no legalities if it didn't pan out in a positive manner.

However, I mean, I'm totally doing that to Audrey the next time we hang out.

"DON'T TELL ON ME! �DON'T YOU TELL....OR I'LL GET YOU!!"

*fapfapfapfapfap*


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