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Beam Scotty Out There And Leave Him There
2007-05-20 - 2:47 p.m.


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Beam Scotty Out There And Leave Him There Ok, so did you hear about this thing with James Doohan, late of Scotty from Star Trek fame?

They shot his ashes into outerspace.

And I thought that this was all apropo, you know?  Scotty, from Star Trek, going on a voyage into outer space, to 'bodly go where no man has gone before'.  

Maybe it would make for a great story some time.  Maybe something freaky would happen with his ashes, like fall into a black hole and be reincarnated in another dimension, or land on an alien planet and be our ambassador to extra-terrestrial life.  That'd be fitting, in a weird, banal sort of way.  Its not that Scotty would be a BAD corpse ambassador, but I could think of others that might be better.

He's a fucking TV actor, after all, on a short lived cheesy sci-fi show.  Not exactly the paragon of humanity.

Yeah, but here's the thing.  They brought the ashes back.

They sent the ashes into outerspace...and then brought them back.

Yeah, they took his ashes for a ride.  A space-ride.  Yeah.  That makes sense.

Imagine you're a starving person in some indigent country, or better yet, in your own community.  And, instead of buying you a sandwich...they sent ashes on a space ride.

THE ASHES WON'T KNOW!!!

'Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Homeless person, were you hungry?  Did you want a sandwich?  Because we sent trash on a ride and we're all out of cash.  Why?  Did you think that we'd...hahaha!  Ho! Ho! Oh, no.  We had more important things to do.'

Well, he's a B-list actor, and he's dead.  Its important.

It's right up there with taking the White House Thanksgiving Day turkey to Disenyworld after receiving a pardon from the President.  The fuckin' turkey won't know.  

This is worse.  They're ASHES.  They're trash, refuse, nothing really all that important.

Oh, Im sure its important to his family.  They care.  They'd be put out if you burned Scotty in a trash barrel behind your house and threw the ash into a dumpster.  But you wouldn't care.  Not really.  You wouldn't know.

Its ASH.  Its nothing important.  

It would make more sense to send the aforementioned turkey on a ride into space.  At least it would be....somehow aware.  It could be like, 'woo, I'm on a ride'.

Actually, it would probably shit everywhere and gobble a lot.  Much like if you sent it to Disneyworld.

That's not important.  It would at least KNOW that it was GOING SOMEWHERE.

Stop sending trash into space and bringing it back.  That's such a waste.

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